What To Do When Evil Lurks Around You

While some Christians are obsessed with the devil and demons, I don’t recommend thinking much about these emotionally disturbed creatures. However, if you ever feel oppressed or bothered by a seemingly evil presence that you can’t put your finger on, enter a quiet time of prayer. 

Begin praising Christ for his blessings in your life and his absolute mastery over the devil; then rebuke Satan face-to-face: “Satan, I bind you in the name of Jesus Christ. I command you to withdraw all influence in my life. Now Holy Spirit, please fill me with your presence. In the name of Jesus, amen.”

That’s all there is to it. It is Jesus who has defeated the devil and the Holy Spirit who makes Satan tremble. Scripture promises, “When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him” (Is 59:19).

If you are troubled by a nightmare, ask God to illuminate the meaning of your dream. Is there something you are avoiding, some choice you need to make? Or is it the devil making you fearful? Either way, I recommend placing a Bible in plain sight by your bed as a symbol that you belong to Christ alone. Pray for the Holy Spirit to fill your bedroom at night, comfort you as you go off to sleep, and exert influence in your dreams.

If someone develops a vendetta toward you, a specific intent to harm you, you know this is not from God. Pray, “Lord, help this person get hung by the noose they are hanging for me.” “Christ, deliver me from this person’s evil schemes and gossip.” “Father, I cover myself with the blood of Christ. Thank you for protecting me and bringing about justice in this situation.”

You can develop a relaxed vigilance regarding Satan, and though you stand ready to command him to desist and depart, it is wise to recognize that a fair portion of the negative tensions you experience in life are not demonic, but rather psychological in origin.

If you have needs that require clinical or pastoral counseling, I encourage you to seek out a qualified professional to help you. You may benefit from perusing the principles of personality found in my book, The Self Compass: Charting Your Personality in Christ. Further, you might search out a book study that concentrates on personality transformation and relationship healing.

If you suffer from significant bouts of depression that extend over months and years, you may have a biochemical deficiency that is genetic in origin, and which will respond favorably to medication issued by a physician or psychiatrist. 

Don’t hold back from making an appointment for evaluation. Then tell that person about your history of struggles with depression, or with periodic mood swings. Be sure and explore what you’ve tried that has and hasn’t helped. An appropriate antidepressant or medication for bipolar disorder can be a godsend in the same way that glasses can transform nearsighted or farsighted eye conditions into 20/20 vision.

When you assess the situation with these tools, you are taking steps so that evil will have no hold on you. 

Handling Old Flames in Couple's Intimacy

What makes couple's intimacy special is making your partner number one emotionally in your life—and keeping it that way.

Easier said than carried out. Especially when old flames compete for your heart’s allegiance.

Most people have tried their hand at couple’s bonding. Most have failed their first time out of the chute and have a broken heart to show for it. The upshot? We develop relational histories with past boyfriends or girlfriends we’ve known; sometimes former spouses with whom we have parted company.

The thing is, old flames are hardwired into the brain’s RNA memory coding. Even after going separate ways, old flames remain emotionally significant. They can suddenly appear in daydreams, night dreams, or associations to a song you hear or a photo you see. You might pine for them, hate them, or wish you two had never met, but short of a lobotomy, their memory lingers.

That’s okay. The best way to get on with life after heartbreak is to build a new collection of memories and adventures with your new companion.

So how do you handle it when something reminds you of your old flame? Let’s look at three ways that this can happen.

1) First there’s the old flame you must keep seeing in the person of a former spouse with whom you maintain a co-parenting relationship for the sake of the children. I believe it’s wise to work and pray for conflict resolution and the cessation of hostilities: to make peace and treat the ex-spouse with fairness and civility. Many couples don’t go this route, one or both preferring the heady sensations of righteous indignation and/or character assassination. They pay the price of a festering bitterness that is guaranteed to infect the new relationship and the children’s personalities.

I’m sure you know couples that perpetuate this Chinese water-torture game. I suggest you not follow suit.

2) Then there are the daydreams and fantasies you might have about an old flame in terms of the good times once shared. This is normal, especially when you take into account that your unconscious never quite grasps whom you once loved, or whom you are committed to now. The unconscious sends fragmented thoughts and images into the conscious mind the way nature send birds flitting through trees.

These thoughts about an old flame are like magpies. If you don’t chase them out of the tree of consciousness, they’ll nest there and pester you daily.

Nesting magpies can drive you crazy. A man who left his wife and two children to marry the sexually hot woman he worked with later had second thoughts. He kept thinking about the sex he and his former wife used to have. Finally, he paid her several visits and actually talked her into sex on two occasions. But when the ex-wife realized he wasn’t coming back, she called the new girlfriend and told all. In the end, both women dumped the man. He had entered mortal combat and lost.

I suggest that you gather up the memorabilia from any former flame and toss it into the trash. It will only incur bittersweet memories at best and jaundiced fantasies at worst. In matters of the heart, emotional and physical fidelity to the person you live with are challenging enough, without throwing a magpie into the mix.

3) And finally, the reality that baffles many couples is a psychological phenomenon called projection. From time to time you will project an experience based on your history with your old flame into a current experience with your partner.

Dave was cleaning out the garage. Nicole’s voice sang out from the kitchen that the orange-glazed duck she prepared as a romantic treat was almost ready. Only she didn’t convey all that. She simply called, “Dave, dinner’s almost done,” to alert him.

Enter Dave’s previous wife into his unconscious. In the last year of their mortal combat before Dave and Sarah divorced, Sarah had a nasty habit of yelling, “Dave, get your butt in here before dinner gets cold!”

Now Dave hears his new wife calling, but can’t make out her words because he is in the garage. His unconscious mistakes Nicole’s gracious invitation to dinner for Sarah’s sarcastic cattle call.

Throwing down the tool in his hand, he rushes into the kitchen, and says sternly to Nicole: “Don’t you ever yell at me like that again!”

Nicole stands frozen with a plate of Duck L’Orange and steamed vegetables that she’s about to place on a candlelit table. Instead, she whirls around, dumps the plate into the sink, and streaks out of the kitchen weeping.

It’ll take some sincere exchanges to straighten out this mess, but if Dave and Nicole are learning how unconscious projection works, and how real it is, they will eventually make mutual amends and reduce the chances of such future distortions. 

For more on couple's intimacy, read:

STAYING IN LOVE:

DR. DAN & SIGGY'S GUIDE TO COUPLES INTIMACY

The Devil Is Emotionally Disturbed

I hold a private theory about the devil. I believe that he is emotionally disturbed. If you want to understand the devil, think in terms of a boaster, bully, con artist, and control freak rolled into one.

Satan is a person—yes, an individual—who thrives on loveless power and shuns the power of love. He is devoid of relational or personality health, yet nonetheless has charisma, possessing the uncanny ability to make evil appealing and wrong appear right. Haven’t you run across a few people like this?

The devil personifies manipulation. If you want to grasp his modus operandi, imagine any human behavior that is rigidly stubborn, seductive, conniving, divisive, or cruel, and you’ll have a snapshot of Satan. Jesus knew the devil well and said: “There is no truth in him. When he lies, he lies according to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (Jn 8:44).

A lot of unwarranted fears about the devil are quelled by seeing him as the misguided narcissist that he is. Though Satan is cunning in the lives of those who follow his lead, he cowers when rebuked in Jesus’ name. He knows the truth of John’s words: “The Son of God was revealed for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil” (1 Jn 3:8). 

Of course, Hollywood movies trump up Satan’s power by scripting him to hurl objects through the air and make lots of scary noises. Don’t fall for it. A little old grandmother with arthritis and cataracts can send Satan packing with a few words spoken in faith from the victory of the Cross: “Get out of here you devil, in Jesus’ name.”

Satan departs! James, among the pillars of the early church, offers solid counsel: “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you” (Jas 4:7-8). 

The differences between Christ and the devil deserve mention. Jesus is faithful and true, offering abundant life to those who follow him. He loves you and takes pleasure in leading you toward wholeness and fulfillment. Christ is a faithful and true guide up the summit that leads to everlasting life.

Satan, on the other hand, is exploitive and deceptive. He pursues a warped agenda that always lets you down. The devil resents the air you breathe and would like nothing better than to strip your personality, trash your relationships, and dump you on a garbage heap, a trophy to his egotism. And he’s not without his methods: he happens to be an expert at luring people into futile lives through the behavioral reinforcement of short term gratification.

I was counseling a seventeen-year-old who suffered from depression. After helping him make some progress, I mentioned that given his history of depression, he might take care to avoid the three major poisons that are peddled to youth.

“What are they?” he asked.

“Smoking, drinking, and drugs,” I said.

He flashed a worldly-wise grin. “Oh, don’t worry about me, Dr. Dan. I already smoke, drink, and use—and I’m doing just fine.”

It is difficult to warn each new generation about the ever-present means of self-destruction that is available everywhere. Mostly, people have to do their own research in discovering how evil works, and how tedious or disheartening life without Christ can really get.

Paul offers a list of destructive behaviors that are as accurate today as they were two thousand years ago: “fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these” (Gal 5:19-21).

Christians can and do fall prey to these attitudes and actions. For this reason, it serves us well to cultivate a lifelong habit of asking the Lord’s forgiveness, and seeking the Holy Spirit’s counsel in making progress toward personality and relational wholeness.

How to Live Your Faith Beyond Church Walls

Is it possible to have faith that promotes unity with Christians of diverse traditions and openness to non-believers who hold different beliefs altogether? Compass theory suggests that a non-dogmatic faith is the wisest way to grow in Christ and witness to others without alienating them.

But—“I’m a Baptist,” “I’m Roman Catholic,” “I’m Calvinist,” “I’m Pentecostal”—say too many Christians.

“Please,” says the Father, “just witness to my presence in the world. You are my children, all. I have called you and know you by name. Seek my wisdom without a chip on your shoulder that divides my family into feuding factions. Please welcome all individuals into my household and live your faith beyond church walls.”

In the big picture of Christ’s redemption of humankind, your religious tradition is about as significant as whether you prefer going to the mountains or the beach, or whether you believe that cats or dogs make the best household pets.

Whatever your denominational affiliation, you are first and foremost a person who loves Christ. But when you place your Christian tradition above the gift of intimacy with God, you contribute to the fragmentation of Christianity and the senseless competition between parts of the Body of Christ.

A humbler perspective lets you say, “I am a follower of Christ,” or simply, “I am a Christian.” If this admission brings disparagement from anyone, then you are simply being persecuted for your witness to the Lord, not rejected because of your denominational eccentricity. Sometimes this type of persecution can’t be avoided. At such times Jesus will personally comfort you. But the rest of the time, seek to be a door-opener of God’s grace rather than a closed door of dogmatic religiosity.

Once in my hometown I called together a group of Christian leaders for a prayer meeting. Among them were a Methodist, Baptist, Pentecostal, Catholic, and Lutheran. “I wonder if we might become a network who get to know and trust each other,” I said. “That way we can serve the Body of Christ and seek to meet people’s needs, no matter what their orientation.” During the next hour there arose such a disputation about brand-name loyalties that my hopes for Christian unity fell to the ground.

Eventually I channeled my passion away from banding leaders together to writing books for persons like you. This is why I value your readership so much. You are the one who is becoming the face, voice, and actions of Jesus Christ, and through his Spirit, a one-of-a-kind individual.

KEEP IT SIMPLE

Believe me, God takes note of your individuation and will move to benefit both you and others. You are a signpost and heartfelt witness that Jesus is alive not dead, loving not tyrannical, adventurous not boring.

On occasion, when people are undergoing pronounced adversity concerning their health, finances, job, or relationships, you might ask if they would like to receive a prayer of blessing from you. Most people will say, “Yes, please.” Whether you pray silently or aloud, or simply let them know in a card or e-mail that you have interceded to God on their behalf, they will feel less lonely and desperate because of you. They will feel a shimmer of hope that God is there for them. When God answers some of these prayers, both their faith and yours will be strengthened. 

Join a Bible-study group to deepen your knowledge of the Word of God. Pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit as to how to develop more of your real self in Christ. Read The Self Compass: Charting Your Personality in Christ to help you in this process. If you do not attend a church, explore ones in your community to see if there is one that draws you in. We all need a way to regularly take in the Scriptures so that the Holy Spirit can use biblical teaching to transform our personality. 

Handling Christmas with The Self Compass

Having just got through Thanksgiving, are you wondering how to handle Christmas? The Self Compass can help you do this. 

The first thing is the use your Weakness compass point to acknowledge upfront that you will occasionally feel frustrated, impatient, and anxious about getting everything done and making everyone happy. These negative feelings arise when you try to accomplish too much, too fast, and expect the whole world to cooperate with you.

Did you know that most people experience a considerable amount of anxiety and anger precisely because they want a perfect Christian season and Christmas day?

The way around this is to accept that you'll be facing holiday traffic, longer grocery store lines, and the occasional bossy relative. You surrender to these normal pressures and inconveniences without making a big deal of it. You pray for the grace of Jesus Christ to abide within you, being a sense of ease and lightheartedness, perhaps even deep gratitude that He came into the world at Christmas just for a relationship with you! All of this arises out of a healthy Weakness compass point, where humility abides.

Next, combine your Love compass point with your Assertion compass point in this fashion. Care for people, but don't take on the maddening burden of trying to make them happy. You can't. People can make themselves happy if they want to, but many prefer griping, fussing, and finding fault with something or other, rather than having a good day or a wonderful Christmas.

Take responsibility to enjoy your own wonderful Christmas in the presence of whomever you're with, while they are simply themselves. This takes the pressure off you and lets you relax and enjoy small delights.

When it comes to relatives, remember that personality patterns run deep, and Christmas doesn't change them. If a person has an angry or argumentative pattern, expect them to continue behaving this way right through Christmas dinner. Of if someone is a died-in-the-wool loner, don't expect them to become suddenly gregarious and cheery.

Don't forget your Strength compass point, where you can exercise reasonable diligence in doing your shopping for gifts and food to have a "good enough" Christmas to feel peaceful and thankful.

Now that you've got the relatives in perspective, concentrate on your inner relationship with Christ. The Holy Spirit is sent by your heavenly Father to live within you precisely to glorify Christ in the core of your being. Stop rushing. Stop fretting. Stop feeling like Christmas is a pressure cooker and you're in the soup!

Breathe. Let your shoulders melt. Smile. Converse with Jesus inside your mind. Invite Him to help you understand and receive all the love He has for all, and the wise pathway He will guide you upon this coming year. Jesus Christ is one family member you can count on to be peaceful, joyful, and fun. He will help you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

Finding Freedom in Christ

Freedom. An easy concept. A difficult reality.

What happens to you when you enter a relationship with Jesus Christ? Is your freedom curtailed or expanded, diminished or enhanced?

Think of it this way: freedom is merging your will with God’s will, so that your life choices are augmented by the Lord’s reservoir of wisdom. After all, God’s been around an awfully long time. He knows how to navigate your path up the mountain, while meeting your needs along the way.

Yet many people feel squeamish about calling on God for daily guidance. “I need to take responsibility for my own choices,” says one man—“I can’t go running to God for every little problem.” 

I respect this perspective. There is a certain amount of truth here. God gives us freedom of choice, and exercising that freedom develops initiative and responsibility. But what is missing from this view is the recognition that Christ loves people wisely. The Lord doesn’t intend to merge your will with his to keep you immature or make you slavishly codependent. He’s not interested in lording his power over you.

No, the Lord wants to guide you through a rhythm of creative interaction, the way two lifelong companions talk things over and keep each other near at heart. Jesus is interested in everything you face, just as he was with the disciples. His goal is to keep you free and growing toward ever greater dimensions of psychological and spiritual wholeness. Paul has it right in Galatians 5:1—“For freedom Christ has set us free.”

Think about it. At all times, and in every situation, you have freedom to pray for God’s unfolding will. This doesn’t undermine your identity, but strengthens it. You trust God to move inside you and within every situation so that his blessings for you are made real.

If you are prone to worry, refuse to accept this as a precondition of life. Have you ever realized that worry is optional? That worry is a choice, not a necessity? Worry is a habit of not trusting yourself and not trusting God. Worry rates the Lord as a failure when it comes to guiding you. Usually we develop the worry habit when someone has undermined our self-confidence, or when a series of reversals have made us fearful that life will never turn out okay.

Worry is not God’s will for you. “But I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong choice,” you say. Or, “How can I tell if God is really guiding me?” You’ll never have 100% certainty. Don’t waste your time searching for spiritual guarantees. Just build a creative rhythm between worry and trust, weakness and strength. That works just fine.

You are not alone when it comes to worry. I worry. My wife Kate worries. All people fret when they can’t control life and make it behave. On top of that, we’ve all experienced bitter losses and moments when life has nearly crushed us.

The way out of worry is to remember that the other side of worry—the other fork in the trail—is trusting in the Lord. Deepening your individual bond with Christ helps you bypass chronic worry by leaning on him for help. You still have to make choices, and you still have occasional doubts, but you begin to know that the Holy Spirit hovers over you like a mother watching over a child.

Fear loses its grip when you trust the Lord in real-life situations and discern the nuances of his ready help in the face of need. Over time, you develop a faith history with God that bears witness to his ingenious provisions—his sometimes subtle and sometimes dramatic interventions on your behalf. 

There is no perfect way through life, nor is there a way of living that bypasses disappointment and adversity. But you can understand that most frustrations are merely inconvenient, not catastrophic. Over the years you evolve an encompassing trust in Christ’s love, reaching out to him instinctively when you face particularly gnarly problems.

Today alone I have asked the Lord to help me pay some important bills, guide Kate and me in fulfilling our life callings, and help a friend who is undergoing surgery. I even prayed for assistance in writing this blog.

Openly express gratitude to God, never writing off a blessing as good luck or coincidence. Catch him being good to you and let him know how you feel about it. You praise Jesus for his faithfulness, and give him lots of heart hugs.  Watch for God's blessings in your life this week!

For an in depth treatment of finding freedom and wholeness in Jesus Christ, read:

COMPASS PSYCHOTHEOLOGY: 

WHERE PSYCHOLOGY & THEOLOGY REALLY MEET

How Does Jesus' Sinlessness Help Us?

"He committed no sin and no deceit was found in his mouth" (1 Peter 2:22).

The New Testament insists that Jesus Christ was completely free from sin (John 8:46; 2 Corinth 5:21; Hebrews 4:15, 7:26; 1 John 3:5). He never disobeyed his Father. He loved God's law and found wholehearted joy in keeping it. 

Psychiatrist Karen Horney once cited wholeheartedness as an elusive goal of mental health because of people's inner conflicts. In fallen human beings, there is always reluctance to obey God, to risk a life of faith, to receive chastisement from the Word of God. And there is even resentment amounting to hatred at the claims God makes on us:  "For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will" (Romans 8:7). 

But Jesus' moral nature kept true to God, as had Adam and Eve's moral nature prior to their sin and fall from grace. This passionate fidelity to knowing and doing God's will is what distinguishes Christ from us. It's not just that he confronted social injustice or gave inspired teaching. It's that in Jesus there was no motivation or inclination away from God for Satan to play upon. But there is in us. 

Jesus loved his Father and his Father's will with all his heart and mind, body and spirit. But we are torn by inner conflicts. Our moral compass is broken. Our human nature wars within us and with other people, even if we are decent and caring part of the time. Far from seeking God's will night and day like Jesus did, we want God to do our will. We avoid intimacy with God, for fear he might require something of us that would be uncomfortable or inconvenient.

I remember a well-known psychologist confiding in me: "Dan, there is an evil that lurks within every person, a resistance to growth and health. Sometimes I think our profession is naive about the categories of evil that destroy so many lives."

But Jesus wasn't naive about the categories of evil. Hebrews 4:15 says that Jesus was "tempted in every way, just as we are," though without sinning. This means that every type of temptation we face — temptations to wrongfully indulge the desires of body and mind, to evade moral and spiritual issues, to become self protective and self pitying — came upon him, but he yielded to none of them. Overwhelming opposition did not overwhelm Jesus. 

Through the agony of Gethsemane and the cross he fought temptation and resisted sin to the point of surrendering his life as an atonement for our sins. Jesus can strengthen us with a kindred resolve to do God's will.

Jesus' sinlessness was necessary for our salvation. Had he not been "a lamb without blemish or defect" his blood would not have been "precious" (1 Peter 1:19). He would have needed a Savior himself, and his death would not have redeemed us. 

Jesus Christ's obedient faithfulness (perfect lifelong conformity to God's law for humankind and the Father's will for the Son, our Messiah) qualified Jesus to become our Savior and everlasting Lord. Jesus' obedient suffering (receiving the penalty of God's broken law as our sinless substitute) secured the pardon and acceptance of those who put their faith in him. 

"But as many as received him, to them gave he the right to become children of God, even to them that believe on his name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God" (John 1:12-13).

Witnessing That Jesus Christ Is the Lord

Driving my motorcycle down a country highway, I heard a metallic pop and instantly lost all power. Steering to the side of the road I coasted to a halt about a yard this side of a driveway that meandered up to an impressive looking estate.

Since there was no traffic on this seldom used road I jogged up the driveway to the country mansion. I hoped to use the phone. When I got there a man answered the door, scowling.

“Excuse me, sir,” I said. “My bike chain broke out on the road. I wonder if I might use your phone to make a quick call.”

“No,” he said. “You can’t.”

Stunned, I studied his face. Uncut whiskers. Red cheeks. Balding scalp. Blotchy rings under his eyes. Not a happy fellow.

“Well, it’s a long walk back to town," I said. "I’ll just be on the phone a moment.”

“So you think you can invade a man's property and use his phone like its yours?”

I reached for my wallet. “I’ll be glad to pay you five dollars.” 

“Never mind,” he said curtly. He unlocked the screen and opened it. “Just hurry up.”

Marching ahead of me, he led me to a living room phone, then sat down in a nearby chair and stared at me. I felt so self-conscious that I forget my friend’s phone number. “May I use your directory?”

He strutted off to another room and in a minute came back with a phone book in one hand one and a drink in the other. “So what are you doing out this way, anyhow? Not many people use that old highway.”

“I was taking my bike out for a spin. I bought it secondhand last week. I’m a student at the seminary.”

“Oh, one of those Jesus nuts.”

I found the number and dialed it. No answer. I sighed.

“So where’s God when you need him?” asked the man.

I hung up the receiver. “That’s a good question,” I said. “I didn’t even think God existed until a couple years ago. I was a died-in-the-wool atheist.”

“Like me,” he said. “So then you got religion?”

“Not really. I don’t like religion much. But what happened was I stumbled into a church service one night and heard a message that Jesus is still alive. It was at a time when I felt very alone. At the altar call I went down and told Jesus that if this was true—if he was a real person who really existed—then I wanted to know him. I felt a peace come into me that has changed my life direction.”

The man swirled the ice cubes in his glass and sipped. “I don’t believe any of that God crap,” he said. “But I know what you mean about being lonely.”

“How’s that?”

“I never got married and both my parents are dead. I made a lot of money in manufacturing and retired when I was fifty. I bought this place.”

I looked around at the Arabian carpet and fine furnishings. “It’s a great place.”

“Yeah, but it don't mean much when you're all alone. This Jesus thing you got. Does it comfort you?”

"Not always. But most of the time, yes. I feel comforted by the Holy Spirit."

He grunted and stood up, gesturing toward to the door. “I have a piece of advice for you. Jesus is just a crutch. Him and the Holy Ghost are imaginary friends you made up in your head to keep you company. When you have as much money as I do, you can buy any god you want. But the God you're talking about doesn't exist.” He opened the screen door to usher me out.

“Would it be possible to give me a lift back into town?” I asked.

“No. My favorite show's about to start. But since Jesus is such a good friend to you, I'm sure he'll help you out, right?” 

“Yes," I said. “He will.” I turned and started jogging down the driveway toward the highway, feeling way out on a limb with no one to help me. But Jesus.

I didn’t feel comforted. I felt lousy. I felt upset. I felt mad—at God. For leaving me stranded in a place I didn’t want to be with a man I never wanted to see again. Worse than that, I felt humiliated. Here I was telling this guy that the Lord Jesus Christ is alive today, and that the Holy Spirit watches out for me. And now this same guy was chuckling at my stupidity and watching me hoof it down the road to my busted motorcycle.

“Jesus, where are you when I need you?” I grumped.

Back at the motorcycle I knelt down and gathered the loose chain that lay like a dead snake underneath my bike. Ten miles. Should I push the bike or set out jogging and hopefully make it to town before midnight? Would the bike be safe or would someone load it into the back of a pickup and drive off? Did God know anything about bikes, chains, and stranded hitchhikers or was he too busy guiding stars in their orbits around the Milky Way? I kicked the bike. It fell over. My toe hurt. I felt like a fool.

I perked my ears at the sound of an approaching vehicle. Over the hill came a truck. I waved my arms to signal distress. As I did so I noticed out of the corner of my eye the man in the mansion, still standing on his porch, still swirling his drink, watching. My drama must have proved more entertaining than the TV show.

The driver pulled over and got out of the truck. He walked straight to my bike. 

“Chain break?” he asked.

“Yeah. I don’t have any tools.”

“No problem,” he said. Underneath his billed cap I saw the flash of friendly eyes. “Burt’s Motorcycle Shop,” he said, pointing to the sign on the side of truck. “I’m Burt.”

Some people call it luck. Others call it fate or good karma. I call it the God who is there. Burt and I rolled my bike up the ramp and secured it in the back of his truck. 

I hopped into the passenger seat, opened the window, and waved goodbye to the man in the mansion, the Holy Spirit having authenticated my witness that Jesus Christ is the Lord.

Will God Answer Your Prayer?

When someone asks me if I believe God will answer their prayers, I don’t say, “Just be a good person and he will.” 

We all know what it's like to pray an urgent prayer that God seems not to answer. But as a psychologist who has walked with Christ for many years, I've learned that God gives one of three answers to our prayers: Yes,  No, or Wait! 

A child can ask a parent for candy, and lots of it. The parent can say, "Yes, just one piece." Or, "No, it's bad for your teeth." Or, "Wait until Halloween, and then you can have your fill."

We are God's children. We do well to learn trust and patience in praying to God. Too much of a demand quality to our prayer means we treat God like our personal slave: "If you don't keep my grandmother from dying I'll hate your forever!" But too little expectation means we don't trust God at all: "God, I know you've got more important things to do than pay attention to me." Scripture counsels a midpoint between these extremes:

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him" (1 John 5:14-15).

If you want to develop more awareness about how God answers your prayers, I suggest you begin taking risks by initiating genuine conversations with God. And watching how the Lord responds.

What happens when you risk a spontaneous little prayer? When you include the Lord in your inner life? Over the years you learn to invite him into every imaginable situation. But there’s something else. Little heartfelt prayers fulfill the Lord’s desire for companionship with you!

 

Answers to prayer vary as much as blooming flowers. Some are like pansies that blossom overnight. Others are like bulbs planted in winter soil, which seem not to grow at all; then springtime comes and they erupt with life. Still others are like roses that require care over many years, but their delicate petals and distinctive fragrance make them well worth the effort. Whether God’s reply is quick or seemingly takes forever, you can count on a response.

A Little Prayer of Longing

Gwen made an appointment to see me at a college where I was teaching. A student in my Psychology of Religion course, she had met the assignments, but stayed silent in class.

When she arrived for the appointment, I invited her in and offered her a seat. My desk lamp cast soft light on her frowning face.

“I want to talk about something you said in class the other day,” she said.

I nodded my encouragement.

"You said that God wants a real relationship with each of us. That he knows us by name. That he wants to walk and talk with us.”

“Yes, I believe that’s true,” I said.

“Well, I have a problem. I was raised in a Christian home and went to church all my life. But I don’t feel close to God. It seems like the Lord is way too big to really know about me. I feel like I’m this little grain of sand who shouldn’t bother him.”

“Is it like you know God loves humanity, but why would he want Gwen as his personal friend?”

“Exactly. I’m so ordinary. I’m not that good in school and half the time I feel bored in church. I’m not anything special.”

“Yet you care enough about your relationship with the Lord to come here and talk about it.”

“I guess so. I don’t know what else to do.”

Gwen,” I said, “I wonder if you would dare to ask the Lord to come to you in a private way that you can really recognize. Something that would show that he knows you.”

“You mean just talk to him?” she asked, eyebrows arching.

I nodded. “Maybe you could say a little prayer right now, just the way you are talking to me.”

“Well, this feels kind of awkward, but I’ll try,” she said.

We bowed our heads.

After a moment of silence, she said, “God, I have felt lonely for so long. I go through all the motions of being religious, but I don’t feel you in my life. Please show me that you love me. Help me know you’re really there. Amen.”

When I looked up, Gwen was dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex. I sensed that she was opening her heart to God in this little prayer. I wondered how Christ would answer her.

A week later there was a knock on my office door. When I opened it, there stood Gwen with a grin on her face. 

She handed me a bright red greeting card and said, “Go ahead and open it.”

Puzzled, I flipped open the card. The printed message read, “Our friendship will last forever.” Underneath, written in beautiful handwriting, were the words, “Dear Gwen, you don’t know me, but the Lord told me to buy this card and send it to you. He said for you to read Isaiah 43:1. Best wishes.” It was unsigned.

“This card was in my campus mailbox yesterday,” Gwen explained. “I looked up the verse in Isaiah and it says, ‘I have called you by name, you are mine.’”

My heart caught. “And you still don’t know who sent it?”

 “No. But I do know that God loves me!”

What worked for Gwen will work for you: going straight to the Lord when you face a lonely disconnect from God. Like Gwen, you can risk praying to the Lord by "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you" (1 Pet 5:7 NKJV).