How to Live Your Faith Beyond Church Walls

Is it possible to have faith that promotes unity with Christians of diverse traditions and openness to non-believers who hold different beliefs altogether? Compass theory suggests that a non-dogmatic faith is the wisest way to grow in Christ and witness to others without alienating them.

But—“I’m a Baptist,” “I’m Roman Catholic,” “I’m Calvinist,” “I’m Pentecostal”—say too many Christians.

“Please,” says the Father, “just witness to my presence in the world. You are my children, all. I have called you and know you by name. Seek my wisdom without a chip on your shoulder that divides my family into feuding factions. Please welcome all individuals into my household and live your faith beyond church walls.”

In the big picture of Christ’s redemption of humankind, your religious tradition is about as significant as whether you prefer going to the mountains or the beach, or whether you believe that cats or dogs make the best household pets.

Whatever your denominational affiliation, you are first and foremost a person who loves Christ. But when you place your Christian tradition above the gift of intimacy with God, you contribute to the fragmentation of Christianity and the senseless competition between parts of the Body of Christ.

A humbler perspective lets you say, “I am a follower of Christ,” or simply, “I am a Christian.” If this admission brings disparagement from anyone, then you are simply being persecuted for your witness to the Lord, not rejected because of your denominational eccentricity. Sometimes this type of persecution can’t be avoided. At such times Jesus will personally comfort you. But the rest of the time, seek to be a door-opener of God’s grace rather than a closed door of dogmatic religiosity.

Once in my hometown I called together a group of Christian leaders for a prayer meeting. Among them were a Methodist, Baptist, Pentecostal, Catholic, and Lutheran. “I wonder if we might become a network who get to know and trust each other,” I said. “That way we can serve the Body of Christ and seek to meet people’s needs, no matter what their orientation.” During the next hour there arose such a disputation about brand-name loyalties that my hopes for Christian unity fell to the ground.

Eventually I channeled my passion away from banding leaders together to writing books for persons like you. This is why I value your readership so much. You are the one who is becoming the face, voice, and actions of Jesus Christ, and through his Spirit, a one-of-a-kind individual.

KEEP IT SIMPLE

Believe me, God takes note of your individuation and will move to benefit both you and others. You are a signpost and heartfelt witness that Jesus is alive not dead, loving not tyrannical, adventurous not boring.

On occasion, when people are undergoing pronounced adversity concerning their health, finances, job, or relationships, you might ask if they would like to receive a prayer of blessing from you. Most people will say, “Yes, please.” Whether you pray silently or aloud, or simply let them know in a card or e-mail that you have interceded to God on their behalf, they will feel less lonely and desperate because of you. They will feel a shimmer of hope that God is there for them. When God answers some of these prayers, both their faith and yours will be strengthened. 

Join a Bible-study group to deepen your knowledge of the Word of God. Pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit as to how to develop more of your real self in Christ. Read The Self Compass: Charting Your Personality in Christ to help you in this process. If you do not attend a church, explore ones in your community to see if there is one that draws you in. We all need a way to regularly take in the Scriptures so that the Holy Spirit can use biblical teaching to transform our personality. 

All of Christianity in Two Simple Sentences

Two simple sentences capture the heart of Christian faith:

1) God in Jesus Christ entered human history for a relationship with you.

2) Your relationship with Christ encompasses your personality and entire human nature.

If you took time to read a hundred theology books drawn from the two hundred denominations within Christianity, you would find a hundred different opinions on what constitutes the Christian faith.

That’s why I want to keep it simple! 

I have led many people into personal relationships with Jesus and witnessed their surprise at his love for them. With sadness, though, I have watched some grow lukewarm later on, almost to the degree that they filled their minds with Christianese. In becoming religious they lost the adventure of walking with Christ.

I now understand that sometimes the Christian religion, while needed for presenting Christ to the world, can actually cool a person's heart toward the Lord. This shift from vital encounter to mental belief system did not occur with the disciples. They kept their personal conversations and emotional connection going with Jesus right through his Resurrection, Ascension into heaven, and indwelling in their inner cores through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yes, they knew the same kind of fear and loneliness that you and I know. But they kept talking and praying to the Lord, entrusting him with their needs, struggles, and occasional misgivings.

So I encourage you to keep it simple. Don’t get carried away with religious nitpickiness.

Learn what you will and expand what you learn, but keep renewing your love for Christ by engaging him in lively conversations. As long as you keep straight that Christianity is not Christ, and that public images of Christ are one step removed from his personal fidelity to you, you are freed from the denominational eccentricities that pervade the Body of Christ.

As long as you commune daily with Jesus, you can read Scripture from Genesis to Revelation without becoming preoccupied by tangents (like self-consciously trying to obey a bunch of rules), or thrown off track by paradoxes that are not easily reconciled (like God’s sovereignty and the problem of evil).

You diversify your exposure to the Christian heritage and enrich your perception of God’s Being by enjoying the sensual beauty of a Catholic Mass, the rousing singing of a Baptist service, the enthusiastic celebration of a Pentecostal revival, the reverence of a Presbyterian worship service, or the relational enrichment of a home Bible study.

So let's carry on today, taking the apostle Paul at his word: "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (Eph 3:17-19)." 

For more on how to follow Jesus Christ, see:

Faith Beyond Church Walls: Finding Freedom In Christ

Why Are Men Afraid to Cry?

I first got the message that men don't cry in seventh grade football. The coach put me in as a halfback to run the ball, and two upperclassmen tackles who looked freight trains smashed into me so hard I crumpled to the ground. Not only did I feel humiliated, but worse than that, I couldn't breathe, for one of the boys had hit me in the gut on the way down.

I lay there writhing and struggling for my breath to return, only to hear the coach yell, "Montgomery's just a weak sister! Leave him where he lays." The teams formed up and continued the scrimmage, leaving me in the dust (it literally was a gravel and dirt field, not grass).

When I could breathe again, I crawled to the sideline and eventually stood up, bracing back the tears that wanted to stream. I was learning the secret that most boys and men learn. To keep from being taunted as a wimp, I steeled my spirit, tightened the chest muscles around my heart, and clenched my jaw. Did this mean I was a man?

Not quite. The following year I took my girlfriend to the newly released West Side Story. When Tony—the boy I most identified with—was stabbed and left bleeding to death in a parking lot, his head in Maria's lap, the dam of restraint broke and tears streamed down my cheeks. Moments later my girlfriend took her hand out of my hand, looked at me incredulously, and whispered, "Boys don't cry!" 

That completed my initiation into manhood, and for the next five years nothing in heaven or earth could make me cry. In terms of the Self Compass, I had learned that boys and men are to inhabit the upper quadrants of Strength and Assertion, and only girls and women had access to the lower quadrants of Love and Weakness.

In other words, I learned to appear strong in all situations, and if that didn't work, to get angry. How many billions of us men, do you suppose, are stranded in our human development, because our self-expression prohibits the softer, more tender and vulnerable side of being human?

What I like about the Christian faith is that Jesus, one of the strongest and most assertive men in history, wasn't afraid to cry. When his dear friend Lazarus died,"Jesus wept." Not only did he cry, but he loved with his whole heart, whether it meant loving his Father in heaven, loving his friends and disciples, or loving those who hated him.

It is the whole Self Compass—this willingness to feel and express both Love and Assertion, both Weakness and Strength—that makes Jesus Christ a Savior and Friend who encourages your full human development, whether you are a boy or girl, a man or a woman. 

I don't know about you, but I love this Son of Man and Son of God who bravely endured the cross, and though broken, bruised, and forsaken, continues to open his heart to us, seeking only to make us as whole as he himself is!

By the way, over the years, as I developed the various aspects of my self through the Self Compass model, I not only learned that it was acceptable for men to cry, I also learned how to constructively develop strength and assertion. In fact, I am a black belt in karate.

Crying and karate...they are just two of the ways I know that Jesus is working in and through me to make me more whole. He will do the same for you if you let him.

For more about helping men, women and children develop a whole Self Compass in their personality and relationships, read:

Christian Personality Theory:

A Self Compass for Humanity