Does Jesus Want You To Be Spontaneous?

Spontaneity means responding to immediate circumstances in the present moment, experiencing the present as an existential moment of “now”—a capability that requires both mental flexibility and spiritual openness.

The power of spontaneity, if a person gives into it and cultivates it as a way of responding to the Holy Spirit, allows for serendipitous experiences otherwise missed if preoccupied by the past or worried about the future.

When Jesus called each of his disciples, they responded spontaneously to the calls, all but the rich young ruler who met the invitation with an excuse that he had many properties to manage and many responsibilities to oversee, and therefore, sadly, was simply too busy to respond to God. Jesus didn’t try to convince him otherwise by pleading for him to consider all that he would miss, but rather turned away in search of the next person who would hear his invitation and welcome it.

Too Busy to Respond to God

Spontaneity, needless to say, is different from impulsivity and irresponsibility. Christ doesn’t want persons to act rashly on the spur of the moment, doing things they will regret the next day. That is why the Holy Spirit works to build a rapport with a person’s whole human nature: your mind and heart, body and spirit—and this evolves over the years.

God desires for his people to learn to trust his presence in their whole being, so they can sense when he is guiding them in novel directions, or affirming the way they are headed. Sound thinking, genuine feeling, bodily sensing, and spiritual prayer combine to keep you zestful in faith, sensitive to the moment, and responsive to God’s dynamic way of guiding you.

 

Seeking God's Guidance

In times of unusual stress, Jesus declares, the Holy Spirit intervenes at a core level: “But when they arrest you and deliver you up, do not worry beforehand, or premeditate what you will speak. But whatever is given you in that hour, speak that; for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit” (Mk 13:10-11).

The same principle applies to private Bible reading, group Bible study, or church worship. Opening your being to the biblical narrative allows the Holy Spirit to sometimes augment the general meaning with a more specific application to your life.

Christ walks and talks among individuals today as surely as he did with his twelve disciples, and his spontaneous interaction with the contemporary believer requires just as much flexibility on the part of the person as it did for the disciples.

 

Jesus Today

By listening afresh for the spontaneous ways the Spirit is speaking, you can truly hear a word of knowledge, a word of wisdom, or a prophetic word that brings counsel in an area of need or a creative idea in an area of quandary. 

In this way the Holy Spirit, the wellspring of creativity and spontaneity, crafts nuanced love poems aimed at your heart, letting you know how cherished you are, “I AM” encountering “i am” with blessing and sustenance for each day.

For more, read:

TRUSTING IN THE TRINITY:

Compass Psychotheology Applied

 

Trusting in the Trinity

How Christians Can Confront A Problem Relationship

Danny Charles’ mother stood a mere five feet tall, yet to him she seemed a Goliath. Ever since he could remember, she was pushing him forward into the world of people, regardless of how shy and introverted he felt.

He recalled a scene from childhood.

Mother dragged me by the wrist downtown to the shoe store. I was about ten-years-old. “Mr. Hoffman,” she told the owner of the store in a high-pitched voice, “Get five pairs of shoes out here right this minute. Danny needs a new pair for his birthday party. Do you have any colors other than black?  Black is so dull!”

Mr. Hoffman hopped back and forth like a rabbit, opening so many shoeboxes it looked like Christmas. Wrapping paper and empty boxes were everywhere.

Other people came into the store, but they had to wait. “There’s the perfect pair,’ she exclaimed, pointing to a red pair of tie-up shoes. I cringed. I’d be the laughingstock of my school. My stomach swirled. “Don’t you just love them?” she asked without waiting for my reply. “Wrap them up in nice paper, Mr. Hoffman. Danny loves them!”

 

This forty-year-old man vividly remembered many such episodes. And he shared more:

It wasn’t just the shoe store. I felt invaded daily, my dignity tromped upon and my feelings disparaged. My chest often felt numb with tension and my stomach cramped with unexpressed anger. Anger was not allowed in our home, unless it was Mother’s anger.  She didn’t get angry just at home. The older I got, the more I noticed that Mom was loud, aggressive and outspoken everywhere, except when she wanted to make a good impression. Then she’d instantly change, becoming all smiles, sweetness and charm. Yet no one dared mention her anxiety and driving need to control everyone, especially me.

Danny Charles’ mother handled his adult life with the same antagonism and smothering nosiness. She opposed his vocation, took a strong stand against his marriage and contradicted whatever he believed in. In his thirties, he thought, I don’t know who I am.  My mother dominates my thoughts, feelings and actions. God help me!

Danny Charles learned in psychotherapy about the Self Compass and applied it vigorously to heal his personality. He took growth stretches into Assertion and Strength to find the courage to cut the psychological umbilical cord to his mother. He wanted Jesus Christ to be the center of his life.

He flourished in his new growth, and developed his career interests with passion. Danny Charles finally made his declaration of independence from his mother. He got her moodiness and negativity out of his core. For the first time, he lived life with freedom and joy, trusting the divine Spirit of Christ to guide him daily.

Then the strangest thing happened. He felt God calling him to return to his mother and help her. “No way!” he said to the still, small voice. “I can’t stand to have anything to do with Mom ever again!” But over months the gentle voice prevailed. “Danny,” the voice explained, “I’ve set you free to be your real self. You’ve learned how to stand on your own feet, handle vulnerability, assert yourself and love others. Now it’s time to love your mother.”

Reluctantly, Danny Charles made arrangements to spend several months living with his mother. She was now eighty-years-old, and her contrary ways had put off her other children and grandchildren. Her husband had died. She lived alone.

Their first months together were stormy. His mother wasn’t about to hear from her son what she had avoided hearing for a lifetime. He’d try to delicately bring into her awareness how her constant criticisms drove people away. She’d explode into tirades.

The fourth month Danny Charles had a reckoning with God. “Dear Lord, you sent me here to help Mom, but she’s only getting worse. I’m going crazy. I’ll stay one more week and then I’m leaving until she dies.”

Inner Voice of the Lord

A few days later Danny Charles and his mother took a trip together to a town sixty miles away. In the middle of the drive, the inner voice of the Lord prompted Danny Charles to go for broke. He took a breath and started speaking softly, but firmly. 

“Mom, I’ve got to say a few things and I’d appreciate it if you’d just listen.” He saw her set her jaw, stiffen her neck and glare straight ahead. “You were raised as a child piano prodigy and had your own radio show by the age of twelve. They called you ‘Queen of the Air.’

“By thirteen you played for two civic clubs in town. You were the most colorful and talented of your ten brothers and sisters. Everybody thought you were the center of the universe, including you. All your childhood confidence turned you into a sassy know-it-all. As an adult and a parent you believed that the world was at your command.

“At home, to get your way you threw temper tantrums and harangued for hours. And to the townspeople you put on smiles one minute and snap at them the next. I’ve been trying to have a two-way conversation with you my whole life, but it’s been impossible. You butt in, jump to conclusions, and get defensive to keep from hearing the truth about your own behavior.

“I just want to say there’s a better way. For whatever years you have left, you can choose to become a positive and caring woman who uses humor and affection instead of aggression and contrariness. I love you, but I know that if you don’t change soon, you’ll die without ever having had a single decent conversation with your own son.”

His mother sat in silence for the next ten minutes. Her face looked pale, her arms folded over her chest and her neck slightly bowed. Then she spoke in a quiet voice. “Danny Charles, every word you’ve said is true. I’ve never understood my life until just now. God has spoken to me through you.”

Over the next two weeks, Anna changed so noticeably that all the family members could talk of little else. She showed some humility now, shared the limelight with others and listened while others spoke. Her old arrogance shifted into quiet confidence. Her aggression all but disappeared. Instead, she demonstrated good cheer and a wonderful ability to build people up. Whether through phone calls in person at family get-togethers, Anna could be counted on to say a hearty, “I love you and may the Lord bless you!”

The Self Compass

The story of Danny Charles and his mother Anna shows how anyone can change, even in fundamental ways, as long as they live.  

By accepting God’s grace and applying the principles of the Self Compass, you can find your way home to personality wholeness and balanced relationships with others and with God, who cares about your personality.

I know.  I’m Danny Charles.

Dan Montgomery

Will God Answer Your Prayer?

When someone asks me if I believe God will answer their prayers, I don’t say, “Just be a good person and he will.” 

We all know what it's like to pray an urgent prayer that God seems not to answer. But as a psychologist who has walked with Christ for many years, I've learned that God gives one of three answers to our prayers: Yes,  No, or Wait! 

A child can ask a parent for candy, and lots of it. The parent can say, "Yes, just one piece." Or, "No, it's bad for your teeth." Or, "Wait until Halloween, and then you can have your fill."

We are God's children. We do well to learn trust and patience in praying to God. Too much of a demand quality to our prayer means we treat God like our personal slave: "If you don't keep my grandmother from dying I'll hate your forever!" But too little expectation means we don't trust God at all: "God, I know you've got more important things to do than pay attention to me." Scripture counsels a midpoint between these extremes:

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him" (1 John 5:14-15).

If you want to develop more awareness about how God answers your prayers, I suggest you begin taking risks by initiating genuine conversations with God. And watching how the Lord responds.

What happens when you risk a spontaneous little prayer? When you include the Lord in your inner life? Over the years you learn to invite him into every imaginable situation. But there’s something else. Little heartfelt prayers fulfill the Lord’s desire for companionship with you!

 

Answers to prayer vary as much as blooming flowers. Some are like pansies that blossom overnight. Others are like bulbs planted in winter soil, which seem not to grow at all; then springtime comes and they erupt with life. Still others are like roses that require care over many years, but their delicate petals and distinctive fragrance make them well worth the effort. Whether God’s reply is quick or seemingly takes forever, you can count on a response.

A Little Prayer of Longing

Gwen made an appointment to see me at a college where I was teaching. A student in my Psychology of Religion course, she had met the assignments, but stayed silent in class.

When she arrived for the appointment, I invited her in and offered her a seat. My desk lamp cast soft light on her frowning face.

“I want to talk about something you said in class the other day,” she said.

I nodded my encouragement.

"You said that God wants a real relationship with each of us. That he knows us by name. That he wants to walk and talk with us.”

“Yes, I believe that’s true,” I said.

“Well, I have a problem. I was raised in a Christian home and went to church all my life. But I don’t feel close to God. It seems like the Lord is way too big to really know about me. I feel like I’m this little grain of sand who shouldn’t bother him.”

“Is it like you know God loves humanity, but why would he want Gwen as his personal friend?”

“Exactly. I’m so ordinary. I’m not that good in school and half the time I feel bored in church. I’m not anything special.”

“Yet you care enough about your relationship with the Lord to come here and talk about it.”

“I guess so. I don’t know what else to do.”

Gwen,” I said, “I wonder if you would dare to ask the Lord to come to you in a private way that you can really recognize. Something that would show that he knows you.”

“You mean just talk to him?” she asked, eyebrows arching.

I nodded. “Maybe you could say a little prayer right now, just the way you are talking to me.”

“Well, this feels kind of awkward, but I’ll try,” she said.

We bowed our heads.

After a moment of silence, she said, “God, I have felt lonely for so long. I go through all the motions of being religious, but I don’t feel you in my life. Please show me that you love me. Help me know you’re really there. Amen.”

When I looked up, Gwen was dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex. I sensed that she was opening her heart to God in this little prayer. I wondered how Christ would answer her.

A week later there was a knock on my office door. When I opened it, there stood Gwen with a grin on her face. 

She handed me a bright red greeting card and said, “Go ahead and open it.”

Puzzled, I flipped open the card. The printed message read, “Our friendship will last forever.” Underneath, written in beautiful handwriting, were the words, “Dear Gwen, you don’t know me, but the Lord told me to buy this card and send it to you. He said for you to read Isaiah 43:1. Best wishes.” It was unsigned.

“This card was in my campus mailbox yesterday,” Gwen explained. “I looked up the verse in Isaiah and it says, ‘I have called you by name, you are mine.’”

My heart caught. “And you still don’t know who sent it?”

 “No. But I do know that God loves me!”

What worked for Gwen will work for you: going straight to the Lord when you face a lonely disconnect from God. Like Gwen, you can risk praying to the Lord by "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you" (1 Pet 5:7 NKJV).

Dan Montgomery's Scriptural Self Compass

Kate and I have recently seen the need for a new expression of the Self Compass, one that shows how key Scriptures can contribute toward a balanced walk with Christ. 

Scriptural Self Compass

Love: “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Pet 3:15).

Assertion: “(An elder) must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it” (Titus 1:9).

Weakness: “These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word” (Ps 25:8-9).

Strength: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isa 40:31).

The wisdom of the Self Compass is that it helps you cultivate the very rhythms of grace seen in Christ's personality through the Gospels. We need Jesus as our personality model, and we need the whole of Scripture, including both Old and New Testaments, to influence our personality and relationships.

I encourage you to meditate on each of these Scriptural Compass points, and connect them with a visualization of yourself putting them into action. 

For the Love compass point, picture yourself cultivating gentleness and respect for family, co-workers, neighbors, and even strangers.

For the Assertion compass point imagine holding firm with Christian values and refuting worldly influences from television, movies, and literature that would otherwise corrupt your Christian orthodoxy.

For the Weakness compass point, pray that the Holy Spirit might help you become more humble and contrite, because the Lord draws near to us when we confess our needs to him.

For the Strength compass point remember to call upon the power of the Lord to renew your strength you in times of adversity or challenge. He will do it!

Keep the Scriptural Self Compass in mind day and night, for these LAWS of personality and godly guidance are meant to bring you ready assistance in a vast array of life situations. Join Kate and me in this prayer:

"Dear God, thank you for the love you show me. Please show me how to assert myself in gracious ways. I humbly call on you in weakness, knowing by faith that you will always strengthen me. In Jesus' name, Amen."

How Does Prayer Work?

I can't speak for other world religions, even though I respect aspects of what they teach and uphold. But I can speak for Christianity because I met Jesus Christ fifty years ago. If it wasn't for Jesus, Christianity would be just a religion, and I wouldn't have much interest in it. My lifetime work as a psychologist for Lord has only intensified my fascination with prayer.

What does Jesus teach us about prayer? First of all, he teaches us that through the doorway he provides, God the Father becomes our personal Father. Christ teaches us to pray to God like he did, which means to pray all the time, everywhere, about anything that truly concerns us. And he teaches us to pray in his name, which means that we submit to his authority and trust in his guidance.

How does this translate into practical prayer? Wonderfully. You see, I was trained as a scientist in my graduate and undergraduate education, and I learned to have an inquisitive mind, to try out novel experiments and gather research about how the natural laws of the universe work.

So when I met Jesus, when I asked him to enter my life and reveal more about God to me, I found a freedom to pray in his name and see how prayer works. One of my first prayer experiments got an unexpected answer. My girlfriend, who had graduated from high school a year ahead of me, fell in love with a college guy, a beefy football player whom I personally detested.

The week of their marriage I stood in my bedroom and lay my broken heart before the Lord. "I can't stand this pain, Lord, and I can't stand losing this woman I love. Will you please show me how to get through this?"

I waited. Nothing seemed to happen. But when I turned around, my eyes fell on a Bible sitting on my dresser. I felt compelled by an invisible force to cross the room and placed both hands upon the Bible. With that action a peace infused my whole being, and a calm inner voice said, "Dan, you can stand it, because I am standing with you."

When we enter conversation with God, we can actively expect his attentiveness, and trust in the great care with which he will answer us, sometimes immediately, sometimes within the week, and sometimes twenty years later.

Go ahead and pray about anything that brings you anxiety, depression, or stress. Ask for God's divine intervention. For his wisdom to flow into a situation and change the outcome in constructive ways. For his presence to positively influence a troubled relationship. For his will to be done in your life.

And don't forget to thank him for all the good things he does. It warms his heart, just like his companionship through the years warms yours.

For more about prayer and companionship with God, read  

Trusting In The Trinity: Compass Psychotheology Applied