Showing posts with label Dr. Dan Montgomery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dr. Dan Montgomery. Show all posts

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Death of A Loved One: The End, or A New Beginning?

For those of you who have followed my lifelong work (books, spiritual direction, and psychotherapy), carried on with my beloved and magnificent wife Kate, I need to share with you (so prepare yourself).

Kate passed away on July 5, 2019.

Oh my God! I was shocked and absolutely devastated. Annihilation is a good term for the inner chaos and nothingness that gripped my soul. I hardly remember the whole month of July. It felt like I was having open heart surgery every day. The emotional pain around my heart area felt like a knife had been plunged there.

On the other hand, there was a profound and surprising bright side. Kate has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's over a year ago, and the doctor believed it had begun long before that. She was also suffering with heart problems, and intractable pain from two recent back surgeries.

Nonetheless, what had kept her intellectually alert for so long was her vigor to always read new books, always begin writing a new one of our books (which she did the very week of her diagnosis!), always learn a new Tango or Salsa step, and always have invigorating and intimate conversations with me. Talk about bearing the Fruit of the Holy Spirit!


In Memory of the Magnificent Kate Montgomery

Even though we both saw the ravaging decline in her capabilities over this past year, I can tell you she prayed her heart out and tried her best to keep some kind of hardiness throughout her deteriorating condition. This in the face of agonizing memory lapses, memory erasures, and occasional severe identity confusion.

I let my private practice go during the last nine months so that I could attend to her. Through God's compassionate empowerment, we managed to experience the most peace, joy, and love we had ever known. But there was an ever-menacing dark side. Kate would slip into borderline personality episodes, where she would be overwhelmed by paranoia and thrown into bouts of rage -- then remember nothing of this the following day.

I felt so sorry for her, and would often stand over her while she slept at night, my hands raised in holy supplication for God to keep the nightmares away. I was also deeply moved that in lucid moments Kate's concern was for my well-being after she passed. She wanted me to continue with my Grand Adventure in Christ, which started at my conversion to Jesus Christ at the age of seventeen. And she said she would be watching over me as soon as she died and went to heaven.

She said the week before she died, "Danny, go ahead and grieve my passing for a season. But then rejoice in the Holy Spirit that I'm happy with Jesus and all who are in heaven. You must get out and date again. If you don't, I'll kill you -- just kidding. I know how relational you are. I want you to know that I won't feel jealous if you date and fall in love again. In fact, I'll be cheering you on with the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!"

What a brave and compassionate woman, this glorious soulmate/wife I loved for 30 years! In fact, we had just celebrated our 30th anniversary shortly before she died.



Dr. Dan and Montgomery - 30 Year Anniversary


 Dear friends, it's been about 3 months since God took Kate home peacefully in her sleep. I am thrilled to know that because of Jesus Christ she is whole and happy and united with the heavenly family of God.


Kate Montgomery Resurrected by the Holy Spirit As She Died!

I miss her terribly, and every now and then another 90 foot tsunami smacks me down into heartbreak and heartache. But each time the Holy Spirit provides a ready help in my time of need. By God's grace, I am invariably revived and rejuvenated.

I KNOW NOW THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH OF A LOVED ONE. I BELIEVE THAT OUR ADVENTURE IN CHRIST ALWAYS MOVES FORWARD. WE CAN BY HELPED BY THE SPIRIT TO GRADUALLY, AND EVER SO SLOWLY, REPLACE FEAR AND LOSS WITH FAITH AND HOPE. THE BODY OF CHRIST ON EARTH WILL SEE US THROUGH!

And I'm determined to live life abundantly, as Jesus said. I do this for Kate's sake, for Jesus' sake, for my sake, and for your sake.

Thanks so much for your love, prayers, and support—and your special love for Kate Montgomery!

Sunday, June 23, 2019

THE ROLLING STONES: OLD, YET YOUNG. WHY?


Sixty thousand people pack out the Chicago Stadium on June 21, 2019. People of all ages, young and old. 

To see a rock band whose members are old and wrinkled, one of whom just had a heart-valve replacement, and whose greatest hits were written years ago. 

Why?  

The music and lyrics of course: themes that appeal to the unconscious in young and old; that tap the heart, like Mick Jagger, singing "Sad, Sad, Sad."

The sheer musicality of their individual performances that coalesce into the ROLLING STONES: Four men who come together to create a rock concert none of them can do alone. 

ROLLING STONES CHICAGO 2019

That said, as a Psychologist, I know that a group is defined by its individuals. 

And I observe the following traits in Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Ronnie Woods, and Charlie Watt that contribute to their enduring appeal as The Rolling Stones:
  • mental acuity
  • emotional aliveness
  • bodily zest
  • spiritual presence 
Mick Jagger demonstrates a remarkable recovery after heart valve surgery, literally going right into motion by dancing, getting his body, heart, and mind back in shape. In the Chicago stadium he connects with electrostatic force to the audience: in Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit.  Surely no signs of PTSD as he displays amazing physical fitness and stamina in his honed body. 

MICK JAGGER CHICAGO 2019

Mick, Keith, Ronnie, and Charlie each have a way of staying in good enough shape to vibrantly produce these high energy concerts:
  • a way of life that combines sufficient personality health with interpersonal relationality that keeps them emotionally healthy and spiritually connected to people throughout the lifespan. 

Notice how they are each lean and trim, devoid of obesity! Surely an excellent role model for we Americans, of whom 40% are obese

As a psychologist and martial artist for 50 years, I join The Rolling Stones in  a commitment to a healthy height to weight ratio. Here is a BMI calculator from the Centers for Disease Control.

DR. DAN MONTGOMERY
The Rolling Stones demonstrate the hallmarks of mentally healthy graceful aging: a living demonstration that we all need the inspiration to pursue: 
  • hardiness to overcome adversity and live optimistically 
  • emotional resiliency to weather the storms of life with a stable serenity 
  • passion to live with gusto and meaning to your final hour on earth
I term these qualities as fine examples of a balanced 
Human Nature Compass: 

Mind in rhythm with Heart 
Body in rhythm with Spirit.


HUMAN NATURE COMPASS


I invite you to learn more about it in:



COMPASS PSYCHOTHEOLOGY





Sunday, June 9, 2019

DR DAN MONTGOMERY HALL OF FAME MARTIAL ARTS PEDIGREE



Looking back half a century ago, it’s easy to see how God had guided me that night at New Mexico State University at the start of my sophomore year in engineering. I walked directly past a Quonset Hut where Master Hayashi was teaching a class of 30 college students the wacky, wild, and fascinating Martial Art of Japanese Shotokan Karate.

I’d grown up in a small and very wild west town near Santa Fe, New Mexico, where boys learned to fight as naturally as they learned their ABCs. This western culture was big on guns, shootouts, and just a few decades before I was born, the hanging of cattle rustlers. At the first Rodeo dance I attended at 15, the bartender had no qualms about serving me and the other teens whiskey at the bar. When the obligatory fight broke out halfway through the dance, with about 20 grown men whacking the hell out of each other, the band broke out a hearty riff of the Double Eagle Polka that got the other hundred couples up and dancing again.

Now watching the karate lesson, I thought, “Gee, these students dressed in exotic white costumes with different colored belts might teach me a thing or two to improve my score in street fighting." I was nineteen and had fought twenty fist fights, winning eighteen of them, and painfully losing two. Yes, I had been a first rate Cub Scout and Boy Scout; learned to study hard and make good grades; had starred in a couple of high school plays, and been a letterman in football and wrestling, but that didn’t stop me from getting called out to fight regularly in a town rife with racial tensions.

BLACK BELT


So ten years after I saw the white-robed students, I had earned a Ph.D. in Clinical and Counseling Psychology, complete with ten years of karate training and one Black Belt hanging on my waist during the workouts I loved to pursue. And I no longer dreamt of being beaten to a pulp in back alleys. The couple of fights I did get into were when someone tried to rob me. But now I could charge in with a spinning back wheel kick to the head or punches to the solar plexus. These fights lasted all of ten seconds before the other guys were seeing stars and I was thanking the Lord for showing me how to defend myself. 

The Martial Arts Hall of Fame

Much loved and revered people 
with whom I have personally trained:


CHUCK NORRIS won his first World Middleweight Karate Championship in 1968. I was cheering him on, having started my training in karate the year his earned his Black Belt in Korea, earning my brown belt as he won his first of six world titles in a row.

Chuck is a rare human being, indeed. That Oklahoma down-to-earth, gentlemanly honesty, and basic love and respect for people has made him a beloved world hero. That's certainly how my little girl felt when I took her to meet Chuck at a major fight in the Los Angeles Palladium a couple of decades later.

Mr. Norris was sitting in a front row seat of a packed-out house, and Kim and I were in the back. I asked an usher if he would take her down to have Chuck autograph a photo we'd bought of him. And I was deeply touched to see Chuck get up from his seat, wade through a dozen people, and kneel down not only to sign her picture, but give her a glorious hug.



CHUCK NORRIS
I ended up having personal training with both Chuck and his national fighting team partner and co-star in a couple of movies, Bob Barrow. I got a Black Belt in their Tang Su Do system. I also mastered the Chuck Norris Blitz, where we would take turns launching 25 foot charges against an opponent: blistering flurries of spontaneous kicks and punches which they had to defend with counter moves. I could never have survived had we not been heavily protected by bulletproof vests, thigh and shin guards, face gear, and gloves! Even so, a full contact punch could knock me back three feet, or occasionally knock me out. 


JOE LEWIS was the first World Kick Boxing Champion at the same time that he won the Heavy Weight Karate Championship of the World. I loved working out with Joe. He was funny, always smiling and slapping me on the back, and full of good will for everybody—save for the opponents he faced in the rings, upon whom he would release Holy Hell until he knocked them out or sent them to the hospital. Still, he would try to shake their hand at the end, if they were conscious enough to shake hands.

JOE LEWIS

Unknown to most people is that fact that Joe met Bruce Lee shortly after Lee’s Enter the Dragon movie became a smash hit. At first Joe was reluctant to respond to Bruce’s overture to work out together. “I thought his Chinese Kung Fu and cat calls was sissy-slapping crap,” Joe had said. But after they met Joe changed his mind. They worked out a full year together, and Joe revised much of his thinking under the influence of Bruce Lee’s creative thinking and spectacular kinesthetics. I was a grateful beneficiary, because Joe passed on to me much of what he and Bruce had put together in their collaborative synthesis of East meets West in Martial Arts. I still thank them both for what they gave me, these generous, caring men with hearts and souls of solid gold.

One day I said to Joe, “Hey, you got a reputation for the toughest chokehold on earth. Is there any way—safely—that you could teach it to me?” He grinned, those pearly teeth gleaming. “Sure Dan.” That’s the last thing I remember. I had been standing in front of him, but in a flash movement he was behind me, with arms squeezing my neck like a python falling onto a deer out of a tree. I woke up a few minutes later, cradled gently in his arms, his legs twined around mine to keep me pinned down, and the back of my head on his chest to keep it from hitting the floor. “Are you back with us, Dan?” he said, in the friendliest way. I arose slowly, wobbled around for a minute, and said, “Thanks, Joe, that was pretty good, I guess.” “You bet, Dan,” he said, slapping me on the back.



ED PARKER was Elvis Presley’s Karate instructor, and the Founder of American Kempo Karate. A big man with a glorious smile and hearty laugh, Ed’s hand was the same size as Muhammad Ali’s. When shaking both men’s hands, it was like a mouse shaking hands with a lion. My little hand simply disappeared in the vast horizons of their hands. No wonder they could each knock someone cold with a short five inch jab!
(The other man who swallowed my hand like a Great White shark gobbling up a goldfish was Reggie White, All Star NFL tackle for the Pittsburgh Steelers). 

ED PARKER

Ed gave me counsel one day, words that emblazoned on my heart forever: “Dan, don’t take Karate too seriously. Don’t get grim with tunnel vision, because you’ll stumble over your own ego. No. Just do it ‘cause you love it, and love people because they need it.” His eyes really did sparkle and there was a dimple in his cheek as he winked and wished me the best.


BILL WALLACE, known as “Superfoot,” was the Light Weight Champion of the World for a long time. No one could touch him, nor could they stop his foot from whacking them upside the jaw or temple at sixty miles an hour.

Bill asked me to take my stance before him. I did so, and emitted my toughest macho man look. He laughed and shook his head. “I’m sorry Dan, but that’s my favorite stance for guys to take. I just start salivating right away, because I’m thinking which of ten different knockout kicks I’m going to send Special Delivery to them.”


With that he threw a lightning kick to my left jaw so fast that I never saw it, but I did feel a little puff of wind of my cheek when he stopped it a fraction of a millimeter from my skin. Then he sent the same kick high above my head (he had the flexibility to kick 180 degree straight up) and brought it down on my crown as an axe kick. Again, the kick was too fast to see but I did feel a pull of wind on the top of my head. A few seconds later he reversed course, and brought the completion of the triple kick down onto my jaw bone. As if to have a little fun, he ticked my cheek with his toe. Then in a flash he was back in is original stance, looking as though nothing had happened, when in actually, my whole world had been turned upside down!

I learned lots from Bill. But a quality of the soul went deepest inside me. This man had humility, and a loving respect for everyone he ever met or fought. Bill Wallace is the epitome of good sportsmanship, and for the millions who knew and loved him, I say, “Thanks, Bill. You are the stuff out of which humble greatness is made!”


BENNY 'THE JET' URQUIDEZ is the friendliest, kindest, soft-spoken guy I’ve ever trained with. For a world class knockout artist who struck terror in the hearts of all who fought him, Benny nevertheless reached out in love and kindness to the whole world, as he had done to the 84 year grandmother he had just started training before his session with me.

BENNY THE JET

I learned so much from this very small (5’ 6” 145 pound) huge-hearted guy! “Dan, don’t just punch the bag. Make love to it. Go up, down, side, straddle, sway, duck, swoop, hit. Make it interesting!” And he did just that. For me. Thanks, Benny. You’re the best of the best! 


GRANDMASTER HEE IL CHOWhoa! When I entered his gym there was tranquil stillness in the air, punctuated by staccato “Ke-ayes!” Everyone bowed, worked out in perfect formation, standing at attention under the hawk eyes of their Grandmaster, who has trained and performed at the most superior level of achievement, so as to become a living icon of an invincible Martial Artist. Studying this style taught me how to deliver tornado-like spinning back-kicks to the head, solar plexus and the knee that whacks out an opponent in a fraction of a section. I mastered 30 of Cho’s Tae Kwon Do street fighting combinations (block-strike-kick), as well as the unique twenty minute, very rigorous high energy workout he performed almost every day of his life. Thanks, Grandmaster!

Thousands of disciples worldwide, who absolutely adore him, shower him with good cheer and many gifts at his every birthday. I say, “Go Cho!”


GRANDMASTER HEE IL CHO


There’s one crucial point about which I disagree with Grandmaster Cho: His lifelong emphasis with students to turn their hands into functional clubs by pounding the bones of the hand into iron pipes or bricks to stimulate calcification of the bone, developing a large ride of bone mass, especially on the front two knuckles and on the side of the hand, where one can deliver a knife hand strike. I believe this centuries-old and traditional martial arts training needs to pass away because it runs counter to holistic human health and pain free aging (where you don’t take four ibuprofen per hour to cope with the arthritic hand and foot pain caused by over calcification of bone through pounding objects throughout the years). 

Yes, I did have to break the obligatory number of pieces of wood and brick in my day, in order to earn the three different Black Belts that I hold. But I never did it through deforming my bones. I did it in the moment of certification tests by using supersonic punches and kicks. Strikes that capitalized on Einstein’s theory of Relativity and famous equation: E=MC squared. In other words I used Chi energy to at thunderous speed to send a shockwave into the molecular structure of the wood or brick, that snapped it in two at its core. And that was that.

As a psychologist, theologian, and philosopher, I say we need our hands, wrists, and joints to be flexible so that we can caress the cheeks of children, feel the petals of a rose, play a musical instrument, or type on the computer. We turn our knuckles into clubs at the expense of God’s purposes for the human hand. 

What is my workout like these days? 


  • work out katas with fierce discipline
  • dance, listen to Argentine Tango and Hip Hop music through my Bose Headset
  • take a break to read a good GQ article in the middle of a two-hour workout
  • doing Grand Rounds around the gym to see how my compadres are coming along…”Hey Joe, how’d the kidney stone procedure turn out?” “Hi Mary, congrats on your daughter’s graduation with her BA last week!” “Oh, Carlos, is that gout still acting up on you?”


So as a psychologist, theologian, and philosopher, I say we need the rhythm of both discipline and freedom in Martial Arts, and in Life: 



Discipline to learn    AND     Freedom to play

ENJOY!

Peace. Joy. Love.

Dr. Dan


Dr. Dan Montgomery










Friday, May 31, 2019

Catholic Cardinals and Pope Benedict XVI Commend Dr. Dan Montgomery's GOD AND YOUR PERSONALITY Book

The Cardinal's response caught me by surprise. A number of years ago, the Pauline Sisters of Boston (Pauline Books & Media) invited me to write a book that became published worldwide, titled GOD AND YOUR PERSONALITY

Dr. Dan Montgomery

I sent a copy to a Vatican Cardinal, with little expectation of a response, due to his impacted schedule. But a few weeks later, there came in the mail these comments:

“Dr. Dan Montgomery’s Christian personality theory 
demonstrates a good understanding of the human person's 
proper resting place in the embrace of a transcendent God. 
This is no New Age influenced waffle 
clouded in a mystique of blurb, 
but a useful tool for all those 
who seek to address personality issues 
and quench their innate spiritual thirst 
with the living water which truly satisfies. 
Well done!” 

Paul Cardinal Poupard
President Emeritus Vatican Council for Culture 

Paul Cardinal Poupard

How did I come to write this book in the first place? 

One afternoon I received a phone call from Sister Mary Mark, the  Pauline Books & Media Editor at that time. Since they enjoy an excellent worldwide reputation, I was pleased to hear from her. 

Sister Mary Mark said she had read some of my books and articles and felt guided to ask me this question: 

"As a Psychologist and Theologian, could you please write a book that we can publish that integrates spirituality with psychology, and that includes the Holy Spirit?" 

"I would be thrilled to do just that," I replied, remembering to breathe, "for I consider such a topic my life calling."

With my wife Kate's abundant assistance, and the anointing of the Holy Spirit, I wrote God and Your Personality in three weeks.  

I felt honored to receive this commendation from Vatican Archbishop Robert Sarah, Secretary of the Vatican Council for the Evangelization of Peoples:
    “This book is easy to understand and yet contains a profound understanding of the underlying elements of the human personality. It will surely be of much help to anyone who wishes to deepen their knowledge of the relationship between psychological and spiritual wholeness.”
     
    Archbishop Robert Sarah

    That year, other Cardinals also commended God and Your Personality: 
     
    • Ricardo Cardinal Vidal, Manila:
    God & Your Personality is a noble accomplishment and a gift to individuals who seek wholeness and holiness.”

    Ricardo Cardinal Vidal

    • Erdo Cardinal Peter, Budapest: 
    God & Your Personality is a fine achievement and wonderful contribution to the healing ministry.”

    Erdo Cardinal Peter

    • Stephen Cardinal Kim, Seoul:
    “I am now reading God & Your Personality and find it very enlightening.”

    Stephen Cardinal Kim

    Kate and I were privileged to be invited to spend a weekend with the Sisters in Boston soon after the book's publication, where we met Sister Mary Mark, who offered to hire Kate as an editor! We participated in Evensong Mass, sharing the Eucharist together. We were deeply moved in hearing the Pauline Sisters Chorale, and in feeling a holy thickening of the atmosphere under the power of the Holy Spirit.

    This story is even more extraordinary: While I am an Evangelical, Ecumenical, and Spirit-filled Christian—affirming the Apostle's Creed, the Divine Inspiration of Scripture, the Communion of Saints, and revere Mary, the Mother of Jesus, I am not a Roman Catholic. I was converted to Jesus Christ at 17. By the time I entered college, the Holy Spirit instructed me to become as well read in all things Catholic as I was in all things Protestant. 

    During college, by the interior teaching of the Holy Spirit I understood that toward the end of life, the books God had chosen me to write would be sought by Catholic and Protestant Christians around the world, a living testimony to St. Paul's words: "There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of us all, who is above all and through all and in all” (Eph 4:4-6 RSVCE)."

    So beyond John Calvin, Martin Luther, and John Wesley, the Spirit guided me to read the works of St. Augustine, St. Anselm, St. Bonaventure, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Theresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, Trappist priest Thomas Merton, Catholic Philosopher Gabriel Marcel, Karl Rahner, Jesuit Philosopher of History, Frederick Copleston, and to attend many Catholic masses and Monastery retreats. 

    I can therefore say with all my heart that I treasure all Catholics as my brothers and sisters in Christ. And I am humbly grateful for the fact that there is a copy of God and Your Personality in The Vatican Library, and (according to his personal theologian) a copy of this book in Pope Benedict XVI's personal library. 


    Pope Benedict XVI



    Using the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition as one of my sources, I recently wrote a revised and expanded version of the original book now available in both print and Kindle form on Amazon:


    God and Your Personality