THE ROLLING STONES: OLD, YET YOUNG. WHY?

Sixty thousand people pack out the Chicago Stadium on June 21, 2019. People of all ages, young and old. 

To see a rock band whose members are old and wrinkled, one of whom just had a heart-valve replacement, and whose greatest hits were written years ago. 

Why?  

The music and lyrics of course: themes that appeal to the unconscious in young and old; that tap the heart, like Mick Jagger, singing "Sad, Sad, Sad."

The sheer musicality of their individual performances that coalesce into the ROLLING STONES: Four men who come together to create a rock concert none of them can do alone. 

ROLLING STONES CHICAGO 2019

That said, as a Psychologist, I know that a group is defined by its individuals. 

And I observe the following traits in Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Ronnie Woods, and Charlie Watt that contribute to their enduring appeal as The Rolling Stones:

• mental acuity
• emotional aliveness
• bodily zest
• spiritual presence 

Mick Jagger demonstrates a remarkable recovery after heart valve surgery, literally going right into motion by dancing, getting his body, heart, and mind back in shape. In the Chicago stadium he connects with electrostatic force to the audience: in Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit.  Surely no signs of PTSD as he displays amazing physical fitness and stamina in his honed body. 

MICK JAGGER CHICAGO 2019

Mick, Keith, Ronnie, and Charlie each have a way of staying in good enough shape to vibrantly produce these high energy concerts:

• a way of life that combines sufficient personality health with interpersonal relationality that keeps them emotionally healthy and spiritually connected to people throughout the lifespan. 

Notice how they are each lean and trim, devoid of obesity! Surely an excellent role model for we Americans, of whom 40% are obese. 

As a psychologist and martial artist for 50 years, I join The Rolling Stones in  a commitment to a healthy height to weight ratio. Here is a BMI calculator from the Centers for Disease Control.

DR. DAN MONTGOMERY

The Rolling Stones demonstrate the hallmarks of mentally healthy graceful aging: a living demonstration that we all need the inspiration to pursue: 

• hardiness to overcome adversity and live optimistically 
• emotional resiliency to weather the storms of life with a stable serenity 
• passion to live with gusto and meaning to your final hour on earth

I term these qualities as fine examples of a balanced 

Human Nature Compass: 

Mind in rhythm with Heart 

Body in rhythm with Spirit.

HUMAN NATURE COMPASS

I invite you to learn more about it in:

COMPASS PSYCHOTHEOLOGY

How Facing Doubt Leads to Greater Faith

Too great an emphasis on perfect faith actually blocks growth instead of facilitating it, creating the unconscious expectation that without perfect faith God will be disappointed and reject a person.

But God has more patience and maturity than that, for as Jesus said, a tiny mustard seed of faith is sufficient for the Lord to work within a person (Mt 17:20). The Trinity wants to help people face, feel, and process their doubts, which in turn leads to greater faith.

Even John the Baptist, whom Christ held in the highest regard, sent a messenger from his prison cell to ask Jesus once again if in fact he was the Messiah. Jesus sent back the answer that “the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised,” all signs from Isaiah’s prophecy attesting to the Messiah’s arrival (Lk 7:22).

John the Baptist

So if individuals are trusting Christ for their right standing with God, then God makes room for occasional doubts as they experiment with:

• how prayer does and doesn’t work
• what to do when they feel uninvolved in a worship service
• how to handle it when they can’t meet a homeless person’s needs
• what to do about behavior they feel is wrong but have to seek God’s help over months or years to overcome

Natural rhythms of faith and doubt ultimately bring people closer to the Lord. For all the doubts they endure, although people can’t always hold onto God, he nevertheless holds onto them. As Jesus promises, “No one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one” (Jn 10:28-30).

During Christ’s ordeal, Peter struggles with intense doubt about whether to claim friendship with Jesus or deny knowing him. He temporarily opts for denial just when Jesus needs him most. And after the resurrection, Peter reaches the point where he throws up his hands and says, “Come on boys, let’s go back to Galilee and start fishing.” He stands at the place all human beings know from time to time, even when they also know and love the Lord, where life just does not make sense. There are too many setbacks, too much confusion, and too little guidance from the Holy Spirit.

But then it does make sense. For Jesus follows his weary fishing crew to the Sea of Tiberius, and there he makes a little campfire on the shore and grills some fish, shouting to Peter and the others in the boat, “Have you caught anything yet?” (Jn 21:5).

Jesus Appears to the Disciples

Peter starts to yell back that the fishing is as dismal as his own life, when suddenly he recognizes Jesus and dives headlong into the sea to swim ashore. The Bible says the disciples don’t say much at that meal, perhaps too busy internally absorbing the rhythm of doubt and faith, crisis and deliverance, self-consciousness and joy—and feeling mostly awe, not only that they had been right in choosing to follow Jesus, but that they had chosen, for the most part, to believe all he had told them.

Rather than trying to secure a flawless platform of witness that one is adamantly Christian and proud of it, a wiser stance might allow that all human beings, including one’s self, hold even cherished beliefs somewhat precariously, and therefore stand in need of God’s continuous provision to remain close to him.

Once persons accept that they are both strong and weak, hardy and frail, capable of moments of shimmering faith and times where all seems lost, then they can relax, breathe, and trust in God’s faithfulness and providential care. Add to this the hundreds of scriptures that attest to the transcendent power whereby God saves those who hide themselves in him, and people can enjoy a degree of equanimity, knowing that Christ is there for them in faith or doubt.

In seasons of celebrating God or times of questioning, the “I AM” of God faithfully indwells the “i am” of the believer. For the same Peter who denies even knowing the Lord, later writes to all who would follow Christ, “Now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Pet 1: 6-9).

For more, read:

TRUSTING IN THE TRINITY:

A Self Compass for Humanity

 

How Christians Can Handle Mixed Motives

Self-interest and Self-Transcendence

Human beings pursue self-interest from infancy. Many of the developmental stages of life are motivated by self-interest: autonomy, curiosity, industry, and choices concerning education and vocation. God, too, possesses self-interest: a passion to share the truth, beauty, and goodness that indwell his core.

While self-interest motivates people to pursue behaviors that they believe will fulfill them, God seeks to help them balance self-interest with the complementary truth of self-transcendence. A divine example of self-transcendence is revealed in Christ, who though he was fully God, chose to humble himself for the well-being of the human race, even to the extent of becoming both sin and an atonement for sin, so that through his death, billions of people could receive everlasting communion with the Trinity (Phil 2: 5-8).

While Christ moved graciously within the rhythm of self-interest (acting in ways that fulfilled his identity) and self-transcendence (reaching beyond himself to do the Father’s will), human beings need help from the Lord to cultivate this rhythm.

It helps to begin by understanding the ambivalent attitude a person can feel in many situations, the fact that a person normally and frequently experiences mixed motives. 

Mixed Motives

The parent with the screaming toddler can intervene with two motives in mind: 

1. Be quiet so that you quit irritating me (self-interest).
2. Learn to mind me so that you can be a more socially successful child (self-transcendence). 

Both these motives occur simultaneously, often unconsciously, but persons can bring them into actualizing awareness by recognizing self-interest alongside self-transcendence. 

When interacting with God, say in the offering of a tithe during a worship service, people can admit to mixed motives: 

1. Lord, I offer you this portion of income because I trust that you in turn will bless and take care of me
2. I offer you this as a gift for the work of your kingdom, whether it helps me out or not.

At a purely human level, too much self-interest leads to:

• insensitivity to the needs of others
• dominating conversations by talking and not listening
• holding grudges
• not seeing the need for becoming more humble and altruistic

Too much self-transcendence leads to: 

• excusing others' behavior without ever confronting them
• letting a spouse or child run one’s life
• caring too much about what others think 
• living by the dictates of outside influences to the exclusion of inner guidance

Either extreme arrests personality growth and stultifies spiritual transformation. However, the beauty of owning up to self-interest lies in the fact that it takes a person off the fast track to glory, the self-aggrandizing highway to holiness, where one acts benevolently, like the Pharisees often did, yet in fact is motivated by personal gain. Jesus noted: “Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ in front of others, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven” (Mt 6:1).

The beauty of owning self-transcendence is that one can sacrifice self-interest to meet others' needs without making a show of it. “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Mt 6:3-4).

No human being gets very far with God with unchecked self-interest or exaggerated self-transcendence.

Overblown self-interest says to God, “Look how unselfish I AM. Look at how I do good things in your name. Look at ME.” When confronted by such persons on the Day of Judgment, Christ says, “I never knew you; depart from me” (Mt 7:23).

Exaggerated self-transcendence says, “Look God, there is no me left. I’ve given everything for you. I don’t even care if I live or die, as long as you get the glory.” This self-negation denies the very self, the “i am,” that Christ came to redeem and affirm. So God is left with an empty hull of a non-person, and how can he relate to that?

In Relationship with God

The point is that God delights in a self-honesty that allows us to admit into consciousness a full range of motivations, freeing us to strike a balance between loving ourselves and reaching out to serve God and others.

For more, read: 

TRUSTING IN THE TRINITY: 

Compass Psychotheology Applied

Socrates, Jesus and Human Search for Truth

My high school conversion to Jesus Christ at the age of seventeen changed my course of life and search for for truth. So viscerally did the Holy Spirit enter me at the regeneration of my soul that my body reverberated with peace. I felt peace and love for people, where suspicion and macho-minded aggressiveness had reigned before.

Love and Peace of Christ

By the end of my senior year, I had led about twenty of my peers to know Christ. The principal of the high school, who had threatened to throw me out for drinking and fighting the year before, now asked me to say the public prayer at the baccalaureate service for my graduating class.

Then came the time of testing. I witnessed, all too glibly I'm sure, to a neighborhood girl four years my senior who had returned for the summer after graduating from the University of Wyoming.

Sarah listened carefully to my personal testimony about what my life had been like before meeting Jesus. How the invitation for him to forgive my sins and enter my heart had brought a turnaround. How the Holy Spirit and the Word of God brought me guidance and inspiration. 

Then it was her time to speak, and speak she did.

"Dan, I'm not at all impressed by your overly dramatic story about some drastic change of character brought about by an invisible being, who we all know died centuries ago. So you're impressed with the ideas of Jesus. Well, what about Socrates, Plato, George Hegel, John Dewey, Jean-Paul Sartre, and Sir Bertrand Russell?"

Socrates

I didn't recognize half the names on her impromptu list.

"But Jesus said..." I started to say, before she lifted her hand and flashed a scornful smile.

"Don't tell me about Jesus until you've read the history of Western philosophy and wrestled with the existential questions of humanity. Then I might have some respect for your opinion."

That ended our first date -- at least my feeble attempt at having a first date with a highly educated woman who the next day dropped off on my doorstep a copy of Aldous Huxley's Heaven and Hell, with a note that said, "Happy reading!"

Looking back on that event from my vantage point forty-five years later, I can see the hand of God in our encounter. Christ had nurtured me tenderly the first year of my Christian formation, but with this baptism of criticism Jesus was actually challenging me, as I later discerned, to take a Master's degree in Philosophy.

I specialized in the history of Western philosophy, with a sub-theme of integrating philosophy, humanistic psychology, and Christian theology—all preparation for my life calling as a theologian-psychologist.

My thesis featured a comparison and contrast between the relative truths that Socrates and the philosophers teach and the absolute Truth that Jesus Christ is. 

Jesus Christ: Son of Man and Son of God

I suggested that either a personal-transcendent Creator God reveals and anchors human truth within his Being, or we humans are adrift in a sea of relativity, with no way out but a pitiful death.

I still believe this is the case. And I know I have the advantage of watching the Holy Spirit work in my own life and thousands of others, making real the presence of Jesus in human existence, and directing the life path of those who call upon the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

For more on the integration of theology and psychology that places Jesus at its center, read:

COMPASS PSYCHOTHEOLOGY:

Where Theology & Psychology Really Meet

Compass Psychotheology

Will God Take Care of Me?

Christianity is at heart a mystery. I don't pretend to fathom its depth that reaches down into the fabric of being, encompassing the salvation of those who trust in Christ and the divine purpose of the cosmos.

For the two billion plus individuals who identify ourselves as Christian, the mystery of Christ's atonement for sin speaks to our personal depths, the discovery of grace and love as a foundation for living, and the emerging selves in Christ that we are becoming.

I lay on a sofa pondering this mystery one night, while also worrying that my wife Kate and I had little money to live on, barely paying the rent, food and gas. Yet at the same time, I realized, we were fully surrendering to the task at hand: writing the next book in our Compass Series.

On the one hand, unexpected reversals had financially devastated us. On the other hand, the anointing of the Holy Spirit had placed fire in our bones to write a book called, Trusting in the Trinity.

On this very night, with our faith in God tested to the max, and mood alternating wildly between psychological anxiety and spiritual ecstasy, a sentence composed itself in my mind—a sentence about the atonement of Jesus Christ for human sin and doorway to God's grace. I got up from the sofa, wrote the sentence on my laptop, and pondered its meaning, still not knowing how we would survive next month's bills.

Here is that sentence:

"Knowing that human beings learn from practical object lessons, God called a people to himself after their deliverance from slavery in Egypt, a people now living in tents below Mount Sinai, a newly constructed tabernacle with its Holy of Holies in their midst, with Aaron, the high priest divinely appointed to fulfill God’s instruction through Moses that once every year on the day of atonement, he would select a bull without spot or blemish, which would represent the people, and sword in hand, he would lay hands on the bull’s head, a picture of vicarious identification with the children of Israel, followed by a sharp slash to cut the bull’s throat; a bowl underneath filling with spurts of blood, Aaron would sprinkle this blood on the mercy seat atop the ark of the covenant in the Holy of Holies, specially crafted for the purpose that without blood there is no remission of sin; a blood offering given in obedience to God’s command that by faith in the sin offering the people would find forgiveness, the bull dying in place of the nation, the blood holding a historical place until, in the fullness of time, Jesus Christ offered his own blood, our hands upon his head, his throat figuratively slashed like the bull’s, a vicarious atonement for the sins of the whole human race, and the curtain in the Jerusalem temple separating humanity from the Holy of Holies rent from top to bottom, signifying that through the sacrifice of Christ for the Trinity’s love of humanity, individuals can become sons and daughters of the living God (Heb 10)."

I left a note on the kitchen table, asking Kate to read it the next morning, and see if it made any sense to her. The next day she responded positively, and we both agreed that it helped us see the connection between the Old and New Testaments, and between the Jewish sacrificial system and the new covenant that came through the death and resurrection of Jesus, our personal Passover Lamb.

Not only this, but it seemed to offer us emotional comfort, because it somehow conveyed that delivering human beings from the penalty of sin cost God everything, yet opened the doorway to full and liberating fellowship with God.

Now about the bills. We ate a lot of oatmeal and beans, and received two years of free housing in a very gracious friend's retirement home. We gave away most of our worldly possessions, but were happy in this monastic existence, knowing that we did have food, shelter, and gas, and just as important as these earthly provisions, we had the peace of Christ in our souls. We knew that God was taking care of us—we had what we needed.

 For more help in understanding the atonement of Christ:

Trusting in The Trinity: Compass Psychotheology Applied

The Strength of Human Weakness

In America and most parts of the world, Strength is admired and cultivated as a way of striving for achievement and building self-confidence.

Weakness is an experience that nobody likes and everyone shuns.

 
However, when people seek Strength at the expense of avoiding any sense of Weakness, they become entitled, inflated, and even cocky about how strong they are. I believe the Bible wants to correct this human error by teaching that "pride goes before the fall."

The truth is that we are all weak under our facade of strength. We all get sick, have accidents, are thrown into panic by sudden adversity, are vulnerable to various addictions, and haunted by the uncertainty that we may not have enough (money, friends, health, or even life) the day after tomorrow.

So Christ teaches us to rely on him day to day, and not worry about tomorrow.

Yes, we can make reasonable, tentative plans. And yes, we can exercise a certain amount of control in governing our circumstances. But we must not do it obsessively, at all costs.

We remain humbly open to discovering and doing God's will, even when we find this inconvenient and uncomfortable.

God often asks us to accept temporary adversity, vulnerability, and uncertainty—precisely so that our self-willed Strength does not become our god.

Compass Therapy and the Self Compass show how Weakness is one of the four universal compass points of personality, and offers as much positive value to mental and spiritual health as do Love, Strength, and Assertion.

But how do you experience Weakness gracefully, especially when it hurts? First, realize that God came among us as a fully human person—Jesus. He experienced human weakness through the things he suffered. He didn't own a home, had no spending money, was sometimes popular and sometimes despised, had some loyal friends and some who betrayed him, and experienced moments of anxiety, grief, and terror, the same as we do. For these reasons Jesus Christ is a humble and empathetic Savior.

You come to terms with Weakness by knowing that you can't do life by yourself. You lean on God and others to help you out. You accept your losses and move forward into Strength. You surrender to occasional waves of anxiety and uncertainty, while still keeping your eyes on the Lord, who strengthens you through Weakness. And you develop the virtue of humility and empathy for those who still suffer.

God makes a way for you when there is no way. 

For more about how faith calms fear and heals anxiety, read  

Faith Beyond Church Walls:  Finding Freedom in Christ

Use the Self Compass to Help Stop Panic Attacks!

Panic attacks are among the most overwhelming feelings you'll ever experience. You feel like your entire personality has been ripped to shreds. Like you are falling head-long into an abyss with no bottom. Like you can hardly breathe and are being crushed by overwhelming forces. In short, you feel like you are dying.

Take heart, though. The Self Compass can help make your personality panic-proof.

Let's see how this works by using the Self Compass of Love, Assertion, Weakness, and Strength —the LAWS of personality—to give you the balance you need to become psychologically and spiritually resilient in the face of full-blown panic. That is, able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult circumstances.

On the Love compass point, remember that God loves you. That friends love you. That you are learning to love yourself. The best way to experience love that counters anxiety is to simply define yourself as a worthwhile human being, with your fair share of strengths and weaknesses. Ask God to help you love yourself as He does. Here is where I rely on the Love God shows me through his Son Jesus Christ. I accept deeply without conditions that Jesus loves me and will see me through anything I face, including occasional feelings of intense anxiety.

On the Assertion compass point, get angry at being a victim of fear. Anger is as active emotion that counters anxiety, which is a passive feeling. Get angry that you shake in your boots, that life seems to have you by the throat, that the devil in on your shoulder. Get angry enough to say, "No, I won't roll over and become terrified by life! I won't let my existence deteriorate into mindless fear! I won't live by fear instead of faith!" The Assertion compass point mobilizes resourcefulness for creative coping. Most of all, it helps you call upon God with conviction and active expectancy, trusting that "underneath are the everlasting arms."

On the Weakness compass point, realize that even the strongest people at times feel anxious and overwhelmed. Life is difficult. Nobody gets a free ride. Even our faith is tested by God. But that's okay. You can make it with just a mustard seed of faith. Given time, even snails and tortoises reach their destinations. And you are a person made in the image of God! Isn't it fascinating that when God became incarnate to live and walk among us, he didn't display overbearing strength, but identified with our weaknesses by himself becoming weak. Jesus had a panic attack in the Garden of Gethsemane, immediately prior to his humiliation and crucifixion. He showed us that it is only human to sometimes feel frightened, helpless, and alone. In times like this, you can say to yourself, "I'm scared right now, but this too will pass." "I'm feeling terribly alone, so I need to confide in someone." "There's growth in the valley." "Please help me, Lord!"

On the Strength compass point, visualize in your mind the blessings you've known, the relationships you treasure, the potentials you've yet to actualize. Look beyond current anxieties to the growth curve of lifelong learning, where you, like Jesus, are made wiser and stronger through the things that you suffer. Picture the child who has a panic attack after falling down and skinning her knee, seeing blood for the first time. There is terror in that moment! But the loving parent offers consolation in the form of a band-aide and a reassuring hug, helping the pain to stop hurting. Just so does our Heavenly Father look out for us, bringing the Holy Spirit to sooth our pain and heal our panic. "There's a better day coming," says the Lord within us, "and I will guide you toward it!"

You overcome panic attacks by accepting that occasional anxiety is part of the human condition, known even by Jesus (Weakness), by sharing your fears with those who care about you, including your Heavenly Father (Love), by taking steps to face and work through the obstacles that are scaring you (Assertion), and by accepting that you are a child of God through the will of the Father, by the grace of Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit (Strength).

How do I know? I've been the victim of numerous panic attacks and bouts of anxiety in the course of life. I have learned to trust my Self Compass in Christ. It is because of this that I am able to write these words of encouragement to you! I've been there and I've come out on the other side.