How To Grow A Christlike Personality

Jesus Christ doesn’t need to change, because he is sinless and lived his life on Earth without sin. So Jesus is the exception. The only exception! Everyone else, you and me included, does need to change if we want to grow more like Christ.

Why? Because over time, we form personality patterns as a way of coping with fear. Someone who blames and attacks, arguing to handle problems, fears trusting others, fearing they will take advantage of him. 

Regardless of why we formed these patterns, however, each of us is responsible for our own behavior. We each need to acknowledge that one or more patterns  hamper our relationships with others and our own growth as a human being. 

Self Compass Personality Patterns Chart

 

The Personality Patterns Chart above shows how manipulative strategies keep each personality pattern intact, unless you surrender to the path of growth offered by transforming your personality in Christ. 

• The Dependent Pleaser and Histrionic Storyteller are stuck with too much Love on the Self Compass. 
• The Paranoid Arguer and Antisocial Rule-breaker are stuck with too much Assertion. 
• The Avoidant Worrier and Schizoid Loner are stuck with too much Weakness.
• The Narcissistic Boaster and Compulsive Controller are stuck with too much Strength.

If you’re interested in finding out which patterns you overly rely on, try out the informal personality inventory in The Self Compass:Charting Your Personality in Christ.

Your score levels may indicate you have some personal and interpersonal difficulties that can be traced to this pattern. Taking the growth stretches sprinkled throughout the book or considering counseling will assist your growth.

As you monitor your progress over several months, eventually these action steps will lead to the healthy integration of this compass point into your life and personality. You will appreciate the freedom for creative living that arises from personality wholeness.

It’s common to have a mixture of personality patterns, even ones that seem to contradict each other, like the Pleaser pattern in certain situations and the Arguer pattern in others. As you read about each pattern, you proceed by targeting the highest score for concentrated prayer and growth stretches. When you begin to make discernible progress, shift your attention to the next pattern and work on it. 

Eventually, your Self Compass will break free from the patterns that imprison you. The outcome of this change, sometimes dramatic and other times subtle, is increasing serenity, improved relationships, and deepening trust in yourself and God.

Deepening Trust In God

You will also gain a kind of x-ray vision into the true motives of other people’s behavior. With this comes the ability to resist manipulation that would otherwise cause you harm, for as Jesus counsels, we all need to grow “wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Mt 10:16).

The principles you learn will enrich and heal your relationships in single or married life. If you are raising children, the Self Compass is a trustworthy guide to helping them form healthy and balanced personalities. This is called the actualizing process—the shift from living through manipulative patterns toward Christ-like personality wholeness.