How The Self Compass Works

The Self Compass is a scientifically validated model of personality as well as descriptive of Christ’s behavior as presented in the Gospels. Its great strength is that it helps you assess your own and your partner's ability  to communicate with deepening intimacy.

The complimentary polarities of Love and Assertion, and Weakness and Strength are the LAWS of personality and relationships. Like Christ, healthy people express both tender care and diplomatic assertion. They are competent and strong, yet humbly aware of their weakness. They achieve this balance by maintaining rhythmic access to all four compass points of the Self Compass. By enlisting these compass points in rhythmic dialogue, people find the hidden originality of their selfhood that yields a dynamic, flexible personality.  How does the Self Compass help you develop a richly satisfying love relationship?  It starts by assessing yourself. Take the Love compass point, for instance. Are you loving, but perhaps too loving?  Are you too dependent, too clinging, too needing other people's approval and fearful of their anger to the point that you don't stand up for yourself?  Can you see how this pattern of being stuck on the Love compass point can lead to a devitalized relationship? After all, it's hard to relate to a marshmallow.  What's the answer? Take a trip over to the Assertion compass point and gather up some courage to express a point of view, address unfairness, yet making sure to keep the Love compass point operative with kindness and good cheer. It's the same with the other compass points.  Are you confident, but perhaps too confident?  Do you feel entitled?  Are you overly judgmental and negative?  If you are, you may be stuck on the Strength compass point, which can kill the joy in a relationship. Time for a trip to the Weakness compass point, where you admit that you're not perfect, that you need help sometimes, that you can let someone else in. I hope you are beginning to see how the Self Compass works. We'll be getting into more details in upcoming posts, but in the meantime, for more on how to assess yourself on the Self Compass, and what to do about it, see The Self Compass: Charting Your Personality in Christ.