You settle down for an
evening of enjoyment with your partner. Lighting the gas logs in the fireplace,
you turn down the lights and put on a CD of sultry tunes.
You’re teaching your
partner to play Scrabble. What makes the evening magical isn’t the amount of
money you plunk down, for everything here is free. It isn’t in the exotic
scenery, for you are at home. It isn’t the feeling of a vacation, for you may
only have an hour together—depending on whether you have children, or how early
you have to wake up in the morning. Yet this ordinary moment seems timeless
because you are having fun.
Tip #1: The magic is wrought by
your attitude, in which you are neither competitive nor pedantic, but warm and
spontaneous. You and your partner may face endless demands at work and in
family life, but together in moments like this, there is a pleasurable
mystique. You are reminded why you got together in the first place: you like
each other!
Tip #2: A lover’s secret, employed
when sharing something new with the beloved, is to adopt an attitude akin to a
grandparent teaching a little one the joy of finger-painting. In the Scrabble
game you compliment your partner’s efforts and slightest successes. Far from
bossing or chiding, you know that winning is not the issue: trusting and
enjoying are.
Tip #3: Why are you so patient—so
nurturing and non-judgmental? Because ordinary moments are transfigured into
comfortable communion by your partner’s friendly gaze, or by the creativity
released in each other’s presence.
In the world at large there are aggravating
deadlines and the daily pressure of meeting people’s expectations. Why not fill
your private time together with little extravagances? Since this intimacy bond
can either be diminished or deepened, depending on the quality of your
attentiveness, it makes sense to give it all you’ve got!
Tip #4: It’s not just at home that
you show patience and kindly humor; it’s when you’re out playing tennis, taking
in a new restaurant, going to the movies, or strolling together with the kids around the
neighborhood. This attitude of caring involvement even livens up mundane
chores. You can turn a drive to the hardware store into a date by going out
afterwards for coffee.
Tip #5: You’ve probably noticed
couples who don’t live this way; who long ago stopped showering each other with
sexy smiles and comforting hugs. Now they exchange grim glances and speak
tersely, if at all. In their own way they are witnesses that love—when deprived
long enough of energy and priority—can be lost.
Say you’re watching a guy playing tennis. He is about to serve to the woman with him. Bam! He hits a winner. Pow! He serves another winner. Ka-fluey! His last serves bounces up and knocks off her sunglasses.“You’ve got to be faster, Honey,” he shouts. “Keep your eye on the ball so you don’t get hit like that! Anyway, it’s forty-love in my favor.”
But, in a nearby park you see a man holding a football and a woman in shorts and T-shirt.The man tosses a soft spirally pass. The woman grabs the football like a slippery fish. “Way to go, Honey.”She laughs, plants her legs, and throws a wobbling pass that bounces in front of him. He chases it down. “Let’s get a little closer,” he yells. They adjust the distance and one throw later she completes her first pass. Jumping up and down, she cheers, “I did it, I did it!”
As you can see, the football aficionado is a lover who is simpatico to his wife’s
needs for frolicking fun. You can bet that after today they will have added
another game to their repertoire of outings.
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| Live Valentine's Day Every Day! |
Yes, it takes special
intentions to transform ordinary moments into extraordinary communion, but
that’s what living Valentine's Day everyday is all about.
For more, read:
For more, read:
 |
| STAYING IN LOVE |
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