Three Tips for Staying in Love

Here are three tips for staying in love!

1. Warm-up your partner up to the communication you wish to have. Realize that we each live inside our own skin. At any given moment, we are experiencing things that our partners have no way of knowing about, unless we tell them. It is a huge mistake to believe that if a person really loves you, he or she will be able to read your mind. No way. Your partner is as locked inside the skin as you are. The only tools available for communication and communion are words and body language. So whatever you want to say, especially if it has a strong emotional valence to it, break it to them gently.

2. Avoid verbal arguments and misunderstandings by willingly repeating whatever you’re trying to say in fresh new words. It is only natural for couples to mishear a communication, or to take something very personally and react defensively, instead of continuing the communication. With practice you can learn to let your partner finish whatever they are trying to say without interrupting them, or short-circuiting the communication with an emotional reaction. The rule here is that the more grace you extend to your partner, the more grace they become willing and able to extend to you. So taking the time to clarify any misunderstanding builds mutual goodwill.

3. Just as in car maintenance, keep your intimacy well oiled and lubricated by a generous supply of basic kindness:  “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “Please may I?” “Excuse me.” “Good morning.” “Sleep well.” “How are you?”  “I need you.” “I’m sorry.” “I love you!”

As you can tell, I feel passionately about couple’s love. 

If one of my dreams could come true, it would be that every couple on earth might come to know the warmth, emotional security, and adventure of couple’s intimacy that really works.

For more, have a look at 

STAYING IN LOVE: Dr. Dan & Siggy's Guide to Couples Love